Friday, November 2, 2012

Gee, Thanks!

Apparently, the "thing" to do on Facebook in November is to make a daily post about what you are thankful for. (Wait, that sentence sucks. Change that to "make a daily post about things for which you are thankful.")  I don't have the patience to do that every single day, so I'll just compile some of mine here. You're welcome.

1. I'm thankful that I was taught about grammar, and that I shouldn't write sucky sentences that end in a preposition.

2. After handing me the cap & gown and graduation announcement order form this morning (that he had had for a week and that was due this morning) all of five minutes before we needed to leave for school, I am thankful my son does not realize how close he came to NOT graduating....

You'd never know that a mere 12 hours later,
I wanted to kill him.

3. I am thankful that my husband is not as vain as I am and wears bifocals, so he could read the fine print on the order form, especially after my blood pressure shot up dangerously high.

"I want a graduation beanie,"
said no Senior ever.

4. I think I am safe in saying that the cap & gown and announcement extortionists company, which shall remain nameless (*cough* Josten's *cough*), is thankful that my husband found, hidden under all the package options that included crap like a bling bling tassel (their words, not mine) and cost upwards of $100 for the MINI package, an option for JUST a cap, gown and ordinary tassel for $29.95, preventing me from causing an ugly scene, a la the Great Hardee's Cheese Fiasco of a few years ago.

5. I am thankful that I am generally a pretty mellow, laid-back kind of person and don't have Hardee's Cheese Fiasco-type issues very often.

6. You want to hear the Hardee's story, don't you? I'm thankful for that! 

See, a few years ago, we stopped at Hardee's for a quick bite to eat. I wanted a hamburger, but I couldn't find one on the menu; all I could see were various types of cheeseburgers. I don't like cheeseburgers, so I asked how much just a hamburger would be. The server told me it would be the same price as a cheeseburger. I said, "But if I wanted EXTRA cheese on my burger, you would charge me for that, so why should I have to pay for cheese that you don't give me?" Bottom line, even after pleading my COMPLETELY valid case to the server and the manager, is that Hardee's didn't serve hamburgers, only cheeseburgers (meaning there was no button on the cash register for that). So, I asked for my cheese to be ON THE SIDE, then when the server gave me my order, I took my cheese, walked over to the trash can, and THREW IT AWAY.

Hey, it made ME feel better.

7. I'm thankful my blog readers are too kind to point out the split infinitive in #2.

8. I am thankful for Diet Coke.

9. I am thankful that my family finds my sense of humor more endearing than annoying. It's probably a fine line, though.

10. I'm thankful my daughter and I don't wear the same size clothes or shoes, or else I would have nothing left in my closet.

Gratuitous picture.

 Stay tuned for future installments.

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