Monday, September 17, 2012

Three Random Stories

Three Random Stories (For No Other Reason Than I Am Bored And Can't Think Of Anything Else To Write About):

A friend's husband, whom I shall call "Ray" to protect the innocent, grew bored while waiting for a plane and began sending my friend silly texts. Being a man, it eventually turned into him making little pictures of his wife's boobs ( • ) ( • ) which he decided didn't accurately reflect her, ahem, size, so he changed them to (  •  )(  •  ). (He really could have done (   •   )(   •   ) and not misrepresented them at all. Seriously.) Just for fun, he did old lady boobs \./ \./ Then, because my friend had told him about my tram flap and reconstruction, he made MY boobs (○)(○). Pretty decent rendition. Then he made my boobs with tattoos (@)(@) I do love being a source of entertainment! Of course, since the tattoo thing didn't happen, he could have stopped at (○)(○) Although if you include the incision scars, they would look more like (-○-)(-○-), but that skews the size dramatically. 

Then there was a news story this week about a teacher who had nursed her baby in front of her class. (Oh, the shock and horror of it all....) I was pointing out that it IS possible to nurse and be completely discreet at the same time, because I was always VERY CAREFUL about that when I nursed my kiddos, when my husband interrupted me by saying, "You're not that way now. Your boobs have seen more people than a Judds reunion concert."

And that leads me to my third story. I was visiting with my friend Jonette after a swim meet this past weekend, filling her in on the  aborted tattoo appointment, when a friend of Jonette's joined the conversation.  She was intrigued by my tram flap and reconstruction, so the three of us trooped into the bathroom and had a little show and tell session in the shower area at the Y. So, yes, I showed my boobies to a complete stranger in a public restroom.

Maybe I should start selling tickets. It worked for the Judds....

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