Sunday, September 30, 2012

Feet, Don't Fail Me Now

I'm not a professional blogger, nor do I pretend to be. I just tell my story, get my therapeutic release, and hope that maybe someone else will read it and find it helpful. Or at least find it amusing. I know I crack MYSELF up with it sometimes....

As is typical for me, I jumped into this blogging thing without doing any real research, other than to Google "how to start a blog."  And I chose "Blogspot" because it looked like the most user-friendly of the lot. Then I plunged in. As a result, what I understand about the mechanics of blogging can be put on the head of a pin. But there is one thing I have managed to figure out by studying my blog statistics.

People Google some pretty weird shit out there and end up with MY blog.

Specifically, there are people who search in Google images for "toe stuck in faucet." And on the first page of images, what do you find? The picture of my "Dick Van Dyke Show" re-enactment with me sticking my toe in the bathtub faucet, taken when I was lit on oxycodone.  

And, apparently, there was a deleted scene from "Seven Year Itch" with Marilyn Monroe sticking HER toe in the bathtub faucet. Search Google images for "Marilyn Monroe toe stuck in faucet" and my feet are the first image on the page.

I was hoping to reach other women with breast cancer, instead I get freaks with foot fetishes.

I guess it could be worse, but I refuse to go there.

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