Friday, August 3, 2012

Tell Me It Will Be Worth It In The End (Bahahahaha!)

All righty. It's the third day after the big H surgery, and it is MY opinion that I should be feeling a helluva lot better by now than I am. Just popped an oxycodone, if that's any indication of how the day has REALLY started.... 

Read a message board on the subject yesterday, and it was one poster's opinion that surgeons lie to you about how bad the recovery is going to be, because otherwise, no one would EVER have the surgery. Probably a whole class in medical school devoted to that.

Since I'm not capable of putting together an intelligible blog post this morning, thanks to my friend oxycodone, I will offer random ramblings instead:

If you are a politician and call my house and start the conversation with the words "I'm a conservative politician and I want your vote," you've got the wrong number, buddy.

Everything tastes better when eaten with an Orange Leaf spoon.

I no longer have a problem with my kids sleeping until noon (or later), because if they're sleeping, then they aren't fighting.

I think it's a good thing I don't have an appointment with the oncologist this week, because he would not only see bat shit crazy when he looked in my eyes, but would see an entire aura of it surrounding me.

Cameras and oxycodone probably should not be used simultaneously.

Everything that sounds good to eat would be a really baaaaaaad idea about now, namely, anything Mexican. 

She wanted a blog
 about her. This is as
 close as it gets for now.
I never, never, ever aspired to be an Olympic athlete. Or any kind of athlete, come to think about it. 

I like cheese.

Tax free, back-to-school shopping weekend should be in October, because who wants to try on jeans when it's 105 degrees outside?

And while we're on the subject of back-to-school, I would like whomever writes the school dress code to take my daughter shopping and find her some shorts or skirts that fall within the parameters of said dress code without dressing her in Alfred Dunner separates.

We should have a Five Guys in Joplin.

I knocked a full glass of diet coke over on the kitchen counter a few minutes ago and almost cried because, well, it was such a waste of freshly poured diet coke.

It's never a good thing when whatever you have is a topic on "The Doctors."

Bruce Jenner looks like a woman. A homely woman. A very homely woman.

I wish Ellen DeGeneres would think I was cute and give me presents, like she does those obnoxious little Nicki Minaj girls. 

And a Pei Wei. That would be nice to have, too.

And lastly, I'd rather have hemorrhoid surgery than watch Sarah Palin pitch local candidates, and the bad news is, I HAVE TO PUT UP WITH BOTH. What a pain in the ass....

I think it's time for a nap....

1 comment:

  1. If this is your oxycontin post - wow - you are amazing girl! xo Love ya!