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Uh, I'm Pete, and I am guest posting today for 10 Things of Thankful, at the insistence of my human mom. (She's actually the only mom I've really known. I was only 8 weeks old when she brought me home from the humane society 8 years ago.) It has been implied that I am less than grateful for what I have. It was strongly suggested that I assess my situation and give thanks where thanks is due, so here goes:
1. I'm thankful for the 24/7 buffet in my kitchen. As long as my feeder is full, that is. I get a little uneasy when I can see the bottom of my bowl.
2. I'm thankful for my kitteh brother, because he's a complete wimp. So easy to beat the snot out of him whenever the mood strikes me.
3. I'm thankful for this chair:
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4. I'm thankful for my comfy bed, even if it has shrunk a bit over the years:
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5. I'm thankful for a good belly rub. Not too rough. Not too easy. You'll know when I've had enough....
6. I'm thankful for laser pointers. Are those things fun, or what?!
7. I'm thankful for catnip toys, especially my banana, which was a gift from my Uncle Phil.
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8. I'm thankful to be an indoor cat, because it's scary as hell outside. Until I got too
9. I'm thankful for my human sister. I greatly enjoy tormenting her in the mornings. I really love lying on her back when she's sleeping, licking the inside of her ear and lying on her hair and pinning her down. Good times!
10. I'm always thankful for a clean litterbox. Because what's more fun than watching your mom clean out the old litter, wash out the box, refill it and walk away, thinking job well done, then running over and pooping right in the middle of all that beautiful, clean litter? And know what else is fun? Throwing a whole bunch of the fresh litter onto the floor, scooping it into a pile, and then pooping right there on that little litter mountain. MY MOM LOVES THAT!
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Okay, I have a lot to be thankful for. Lesson learned. NOW, PLEASE DON'T MAKE ME WEAR THAT STUPID TIE EVER AGAIN!
I love Pete. And I love that his name is Pete. I also have a picture of one of my cats in a tie! Remember Molly? Maybe she and Pete can try the long-distance thing...
ReplyDeleteWe should totally set them up! Then Pete can change his facebook status from "it's complicated" to "in a relationship".
DeleteMolly's not on Facebook, but I'm pretty sure her MySpace page is still up...
DeleteOMG this is hilarious! I love that you had Pete guest post for you and cracked up at the imagery of him refusing to go outside because it's too scary (and he's too um fat) and making a pile of litter to poop on! Ha!
ReplyDeleteI think he outgrew the harness about 12 pounds ago (he's a shade under 26 lbs. now). Back in the day it actually fit, I had to carry him outside, then he would just fall over on his side and refuse to move. The other cat LOVES to go out on the leash. He rolls on the sidewalk, eats grass, sniffs EVERYTHING.
DeleteI almost took a picture of a pile of litter this morning, then thought it was going too far, even for me.
Bear in mind she MADE ME WEAR A TIE.
ReplyDeleteMillie? I'm interested. Think she'd Snapchat with me?
Hello, I indeed Mum to a cat named Millie and can relate to a lot of this Pete. You might want to tell your Mum to get a litter tray with a lip round it which limits the scattering of fresh litter somewhat although not completely. What exactly is it that makes a nice fresh litter tray so enticing that it has to be used straight away? Thankfully my Millie goes outside most of the time, but the litter tray is still down just in case. I'd let you meet Millie, but you sound quite big and scary and I'm a bit scared you might just eat her for breakfast, not that I don't trust you or anything ;).
ReplyDeleteLitter is fun. Like snow, only not cold. Except what do I know? I've never been outside in the snow.
DeleteI'm big, but I'm not scary at all. A real pussycat. PAHAHAHAHA!! No, really, I'm very easy going. I only eat Science Diet dry food, no table scraps, nothing living. Well, the occasional fly, if I can catch one. They're pretty tasty. But small. Very small.
Tell Millie she can chat me up on Facebook ;)
Millie here, how you doing??? I also refrain from living things, mainly as I'm too small to get anything with a decent amount of meat on. I get given Royal Canin, it is quite good stuff. My owner's Mum keeps saying to her she should cook me some chicken once in a while, but like she says, she doesn't cook for herself from scratch, so why's she gonna cook for me? Do you want my number Pete? Luv Millie x
DeletePssst, Millie. Pete here. My idiot brother likes chicken. My mom gives him bits of it when she's cooking. I think it smells okay, but I just can't figure out what to do with it exactly. I'll stick with my dry kibbles.
Deletep.s. If I ever caught a mouse, I'd give it to you....
Cool Pete, if you could ever link me up with a mouse that would be amazing, they're great to play with, I only seem to be able to get really small field mice here and they are so small and run so fast they get in all the little nooks and crannies where I can't get at them and spoil my fun, haven't even seen any of them for ages!
DeleteOh, that was too funny! Aren't pets SO fun? #10 made me laugh out loud.
ReplyDeletePete...you sound a lot like my dog, Indy, whom we believe was originally owned by a senior saint who had a lot of time to sit around and pet him and who also owned a large number of cats...he's quite cat-like. Maybe you two should be friends. I'll have his people call your people.
Tell Indy I'm willing to give it a try, as long as he doesn't bark or eat my food - Pete.
DeleteSeriously, this post was so clever and loved hearing what Pete was thankful for. Makes me kind of wish we had a cat now! :)
ReplyDeleteCan I send you one?
Deletelol
ReplyDeleteyour (Post) is one of the things about the whole 2 day Ten Things Hop that makes it as increasingly popular... sort of like a 2 day (a week) secret blogger group.
a tie, huh? lol
He was really pissed off about the tie.
DeleteWhat a fun idea for the Thankful blog hop! Pete really does seem to have a perfect life! :-)
ReplyDeleteHe really has no idea how good he has it and should accept that occasionally we're going to dress him up in something humiliating.
DeleteLOL!!! thanks for this post Dyanne, I needed that laugh today, I could totally picture Pete typing and nodding in approval when he finished the post with number 10. Sophia loves laser pointer and cat toys in general, I've always thought she was a cat in her past life.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Natalia! I am DEFINITELY coming back as a spoiled housecat in my next life!
DeleteIs Snapchat like Skype? I can link Millie up ;)
ReplyDeleteOh Pete... You don't have to be thankful for any of those things. Not after they tried to enslave you with a leash — until you were able to outsmart them — allowed your food levels to hit the bottom of the bowl, refuse to buy you new beds when the original one clearly has become defective due to manufacturing issues, and force you to wear ties!
ReplyDeleteLand on all fours and get to regaining you proper place as King Feline of the Household!
Crooks at The Crooks Chronicles
Hey, Jak. It's Pete. Thanks for being in my corner. Know what? Occasionally I pee on something, just to make sure everyone in the house knows who's boss.
DeleteHey Pete, it's Crooks. I'm afraid to say that my pet Jak wasn't present today for this entry. As you were "guest posting" I was "guest commenting" as he was taking a copious amount of time dropping some kids off at the pool.
DeleteInstead of being offended at being compared to my lesser human counterpart (read: slave) I will take it as a compliment on my abilities of incognito.
I commend you on your urination tactics. I also just recently decided to use that method as well. It is funny to see his reaction, especially if he, or a guest of his, steps in it. Hilarious! I always knock everything off the table as well so that I may extend my full pristine figure across the entire table diagonally.
Keep up the good work! Catnip Speed to you!
Crooks, dude. My bad. My mom says I'm kind of dumb. Guess this proves it.
DeleteKnocking shit off the table is the BEST. So is dropping toys inside shoes where they can't be seen, but they can be felt. And there's always the yakking up of a furball on the rug.
Later.
Pete, you have your human Mom trained pretty well. Good for you for pooping on the litter mountain. How can we get our Mom to love that? And we totally agree with you about the outside...it's scary as shit out there. We'll stick to our very comfortable life inside, thank you. Come visit us anytime and we can knock some stuff off the table together. People love when we do that crap.
ReplyDeleteLove, the Three Rotten Cats from Meaning of Me.
You have GOT to try the litter mountain thing. Very Zen. I also recommend helping your mom put clean sheets on the beds. That is AWESOME. Make sure you get under the fitted sheet and kick the hell out of it while you're there. And leave plenty of cat hair on the clean sheets. Wicked fun.
DeleteLook me up on Facebook. We can plot, I mean, chat.