Five More Reasons This Is STILL A Crappy Week Plus Some Thankfuls

More reasons why my week is crappy:

1. My cold is still raging. Upper lip chapped and swollen. Nose dry and flaky from endless blowing. Head ache. Intermittent fever, punctuated by an occasional hot flash. Tickle in my throat that makes me cough until tears are streaming and I am gagging. That's a fun one. 

2. I still don't have tickets to see President Clinton.

3. I can't wear shoes with a back in them, thanks to the retrocalcaneal bursitis in my heel. Clogs are currently not a fashion forward look, apparently, and it seems I bought the last pair in town when I got my tentative diagnosis six weeks ago (made when my friend took a picture of my heel on her phone and texted it to her husband, who is an orthopedic surgeon, who then stressed this was not an OFFICIAL diagnosis). I'm sick of wearing the same damn pair of shoes every day. I guess if it rains or snows, I'll have to tie trashbags onto my feet to keep them dry.

4. One of the cats pooped on the rug in front of the toilet in the downstairs bathroom. It was discovered by the crabcake daughter when she stepped in it after school and then walked across the floor several feet before noticing it (in her defense, the rug is brown...). I got to clean that up (my cold does NOT inhibit my sense of smell, or not enough, anyway) while my husband retched in the background. Let me tell you, nothing caps off your week like using a toothbrush to scrub cat poop out of the tread of a pair of athletic shoes.

5. I weighed this morning and saw that I had lost four pounds in one day. That was both exciting and a little improbable, even though I have been sick, so I got off and got back on again. Ten pound loss this time. Tried it a third time and had a one pound GAIN. Changed the battery in the scale and got on one last time, and it was status quo. Cruel, cruel scale. Cruel, cruel week.

Maybe listing Ten Things of Thankful will make it all seem better....

1. I worked three different nights at my side gig with a local photographer. I used about a gallon of hand sanitizer and am pretty sure I didn't give my cold to anyone. Or at least to anyone I know, or I would have heard about it by now.

2. I bought some beef jerky at Target when I was desperately hungry and didn't have time to go home and eat anything between jobs. It smelled like gasoline and had the texture of an old shoe, but it didn't kill me.

3. Our ice maker is choosing this week to make ice instead of be in its usual state of constipation, which was nice, since I've been using a lot of ice while I've been sick.

4. I set a bag of frozen chicken breasts in the refrigerator to thaw without putting it in a bowl, and the plastic bag leaked chicken water all over the bottom shelf of the fridge. The good news is it only dripped into ONE of the vegetable crisper drawers and not both of them.

5. Ruby has tentatively resumed the game of Bathtub Ball after I ruined it for her a week ago by using her arena to take an actual bath.

6. Ruby has also found a little piece of greenery (actually orangery) that fell off of a swag of fall leaves I have hanging in the living room and has engaged me in near-constant games of fetch. Day. Night. While I'm using the bathroom. Or sleeping. Or on the computer. Whatever. She doesn't care; she just pops up with the piece sticking out of the side of her mouth like a cigar and wants me to play with her. And I do.

Ladies don't smoke cigars.

That's my leg a/k/a playing field

7. I didn't have to go anywhere Friday after I got home from preschool, and I was able to put on my comfy clothes (i.e., jammies) and feel miserable from the comfort of my home.

8. I spent the entire day Saturday making freezer meals and only burnt myself once.

9. I baked three of the ugliest pumpkin pies you'll ever see, but they still tasted good.

10. It's going to be cold and rainy tomorrow and my car is out of gas, but since I'm already sick, what's it going to matter if I have to stand outside in the elements and fill the gas tank and then get into a car with no heater and drive to work? It's only a mile drive. Who needs heat? Or gas? Wait, I do. I need gas.

Yeah, that helped. My week isn't so crappy anymore. OH, WAIT, THAT'S BECAUSE IT'S FINALLY OVER.

On a more serious note, we live in a very scary world right now. Je suis Paris. We're all in this together.

 

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Left: A Six Sentence Story

The chicken knew.

While it was scratching in the grass at the side of the street bordering the wooded area alongside the railroad tracks, the chicken knew what no one else did.

The passer-by who discovered the body near the tracks didn't know what happened to the man. Neither did the police, who could only discern that the deceased hadn't been hit by a train.

The man was dead, and he left no clues as to why.

But the chicken knew.

Linking up with Ivy at Uncharted for Six Sentence Stories with the prompt "left."

6 Reasons Why This Is A Crappy Week

My week is crappy. Here's why.

1. The heater is broken in my van, as in it blows cold air. Because it is fall in the Ozarks, it wasn't a problem today, when it was unseasonably warm and humid and horribly windy and I had to turn the a/c on, but earlier this week? Cold. Inside the van. Outside the van. Cold. And we don't have a garage, so it sits outside and gets colder and colder. I'm guessing a kerosene heater is a bad idea, so it looks like YET ANOTHER trip to the mechanic, to whom I suggested he give us a punch card and maybe offer us a free sandwich or something after our 10th visit. We're already halfway there.

2. Pittsburg State University, which is about 40 minutes away from here, announced a week ago that President Bill Clinton would be the first speaker in a series they were debuting in their new Center for the Arts. And the seats would only be $40! I was beyond excited. President Clinton is the first president that I voted for who actually won the election. Tickets went on sale Monday morning at 8:30 a.m., and I WAS ON IT. I was hitting the box office website at the stroke of 8:30 (and I tried at 8:28, just in case it was already open, and it wasn't). And I continued to try to order my tickets for 30 minutes, only to get messages saying there weren't two seats available together, and interspersing it with unanswered phone calls to the box office, until the website displayed the message that it was sold out. Not. Cool. I heard on the news that students, who could buy one ticket for $10, had bought up tickets and were selling them for upwards of $500. Why isn't ticket scalping illegal? Why? Why? The artist or speaker or team doesn't make a dime off of scalped tickets; only the asshole scoundrel who is selling them does. SHAME ON THOSE OF YOU WHO PREVENTED PEOPLE WHO REALLY WANTED TO HEAR THE PRESIDENT SPEAK FROM BUYING TICKETS! You know who you are. May karma have its way with you.

3. My daughter is in a mood this week. Think about, oh, The Exorcist, and you'll get the idea. Or a wet cat. A wet, angry cat. 

4. Speaking of cats that I have apparently pissed off, I managed to ruin Ruby's favorite game this week by using her arena for a bath. Several weeks ago, my husband was shaking out a pair of shoes he hadn't worn for a long time (we have brown recluse spiders, so it's a necessary precaution) over the bathtub when a 1" diameter bouncy ball fell out of the toe and bounced around the bathtub (we also have toys and other treasures in our shoes, so, again, a necessary precaution). The sound of the ball bouncing around inside the tub (a rather large jacuzzi tub and the sole reason I wanted to buy this house 17 years ago) brought Ruby running, and a new game was born. She would bat the ball all around the tub, fielding it as it ricocheted off the sides of the tub. She herself would run and slide on her hip around the tub as well, and she added a new element when she knocked a plastic cup (I keep it on the side of the tub to help rinse it out after using it) into the tub and incorporated it in her game. Bathtub Ball was a wild game, very noisy, and tremendously fun; that is, until I decided to take a long, soaky bubble bath the other night. Ruby watched me remove the cup and ball from the tub first. After my bath, I rinsed all the bubbles out and even dried the inside of the tub with a towel, but she acted like the inside of the tub would burn her if she got in, and she hasn't played a game of Arena Bathtub Ball since. And all those times I said to myself, "I should take a video of her doing this"? Yeah, I didn't.

5. I have a cold. A nasty, snotty, coughy, headachy, feverish cold with intermittent sore throat and ear ache. Of course, my cold has a name (not a preschooler this time), but I'm not upset with the kid who gave me the cold. He couldn't help it; he is a special needs child who is mostly non-verbal. I'm not happy with his mother, who brought him to church knowing he was sick. I used a lot of hand sanitizer that morning when I was with him (and he was wiping snot on his sleeves and, it seems, me), but within 24 hours, I had a headache (you know the kind, when you're trying to decide if it's just a headache or if you're actually coming down with something), a few hours later, my throat was sore, and a few hours after that, the cold symptoms began in earnest. KEEP YOUR CHILDREN HOME WHEN THEY'RE SICK, PEOPLE.

Every drop of fluid in my body is going into snot production, and I can't get enough to drink, but it hurts my throat when I swallow. My upper lip is puffy from blowing my nose, and my eyes look like two holes burnt in a blanket. I'm a sight to behold.

6. Did I mention that I didn't get tickets to go see President Clinton? 

Completely devastated

Crap, crap, crappy week. 

Quit Whining About It Being Dark Early And Just Be Thankful

I'm going to say something really unpopular here, but I actually LIKE it when Daylight Savings Time ends and we go back on Standard Time. I hate, hate, HAAAAATE getting up in the morning when it's still dark (so much so that I DON'T get up and am frequently late to work the last few weeks in October). Winter's coming, like it or not (not), and I think the house feels cozier somehow when it gets dark in the early evening. Kind of a hibernation thing, I guess. Plus, the combination of lamp light and taking my contacts out after supper makes the house, which is decorated with fall leaves and flowers and pumpkins, look particularly lovely! What could be more conducive to writing Ten Things of Thankful?

1. Let's start out that the Kansas City Royals won the World Series! I'm a Kansas City girl, born and raised there, so this was really exciting. Forever Royal!

2. There was no school on Monday (we follow the public school calendar, and they had a teacher professional development day). And following a 12 inning World Series finale that didn't end until nearly midnight, it was especially appreciated that I had the day off!

3. I was productive on that day off, too. Cleaned out my closet. Put away summer clothes and got out winter ones. Realized I am missing a pair of boots. Added "new pair of boots" to my shopping list....

4. My mom had her pacemaker replaced on Tuesday. The surgery went well, and she should be good for another 50,000 miles.

5. Because of Monday's scheduled day off and my mom's surgery on Tuesday, I only had a three day work week. That was kind of nice, although I miss my kiddos when I'm not there with them.

6. Cute bulletin board, courtesy of my Primary class:

7. A front came through on Thursday afternoon, bringing a small thunderstorm followed by much cooler weather. Ruby and I took the opportunity to nap together.

8. Hat Day in Pre-K. I got a little more mileage out of my $10 hat from Marian Days.

9. The creative play of preschoolers is a wondrous thing. There were three 4 year old boys in the Home Living Center during center time today. They cooked, they fed babies, they put on dress up clothes, the usual stuff.  But then I heard one of them making the sound of an emergency siren and saw that they had taken all the chairs in the center and made themselves a car. I'm still not sure of the exact type of emergency vehicle they were riding in, but the driver was in the front right seat, and they stopped periodically, took utensils from the play kitchen, and did some mechanical work under their seats before sitting back down and speeding away to disasters unknown.

Granny Clampett appears to be riding in the back.

10. My College Boy is home for the weekend for the first time since the mid-September. I've seen him several times, and we all went to the lake house together at least twice, but he hasn't been HOME. Naturally, he's off with friends for the evening, but he'll be home before long, and I'll be able to sleep knowing both of my little chicks are snug in the nest. 

Be snug! Be warm! Write your thankfuls and link up with us right here.

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Close: A Six Sentence Story

On Sunday, November 1, 2015, the Kansas City Royals won the World Series, beating the New York Mets. It was one year after they lost the Series to San Francisco in the 7th game, and their first World Series victory since 1985.

Kansas City fans are loyal fans, and they turned out in full force for the Victory Parade, held two days later in downtown Kansas City and culminating in a rally at Union Station. Schools were closed for the day, businesses shut down, and the crowd was estimated to be around 800,000.

Union Station

But back in 1985, back before social media and satellite feeds and cell phones with cameras, there was a World Series Victory Parade for the Royals, whose roster boasted such names as George Brett, Dan Quisenberry, Frank White and Bret Saberhagen, and while there were far from 800,000 fans in attendance, it was a spectacular parade nonetheless, with confetti and players riding in convertibles and much excitement.

And I was this close to it:

MVP Bret Saberhagen

Linking up with Ivy at Uncharted for Six Sentence Stories with the prompt "close."

A Good Week Of Thankfuls That Included No One Getting Arrested

If a week has to go by in a flash, one that includes small children in Halloween costumes at school is a good one for that. I mean, seriously, didn't I just write a Ten Things of Thankful, like, five minutes ago? No? Okay, then here's another one.

1. The electric mattress pad is on the list once again. We've had some chilly nights, and there's nothing like slipping between the sheets and having them be all warm and toasty! I get hot a couple hours after going to bed and turn it off, then I'll have an additional hot flash and shed my jammy bottoms next. Then I get cold around 5 a.m., and the mattress pad gets turned back on. But what a luxury to be able to make myself warmer and cooler as necessary!

2. Now, I'm not saying I'm glad my husband was out of town one night this week and I got the bed to myself (sort of), because I don't sleep well when he's gone, but I DO like having the whole bed to myself, especially since the two big boy kitties like the electric mattress pad even more than I do. When you ordinarily have to share your side of a queen sized bed with two cats with a combined weight of about 45 pounds, then having the opportunity to stretch out on the other half of the bed for one night is pretty sweet.

3. I told my Primary class that we would make our own snack on Tuesday, so I brought all the ingredients to make pumpkin muffins. Well, all EXCEPT for milk, of which I had none. My milk drinker is away at college, and we didn't have a drop in the refrigerator. No problem, I thought, there's always a jug of milk in the church kitchen, but when I went over there to get a cup, I found no milk. Checked the pantry, hoping for a can of evaporated milk or maybe even some powdered milk, which would work fine for muffins, but nope. I was contemplating whether Cremora would be a viable substitute when it occurred to me I could call one of my preschool moms and ask her to bring a cup with her when she brought her daughter. She was happy to do it and the muffins were saved!

4. Tuesday afternoon, I had finally had it with my cell phone and went to AT&T to get a new one. I decided I wanted the iphone 6s plus, which means I have given in to the fact that I CAN'T SEE ANYTHING ON MY CELL PHONE WITH MY OLD EYES. They didn't have any in stock, so one was ordered for me. I was expecting it to take a couple of weeks, but it was delivered on Thursday afternoon. Pretty speedy, huh?

5. We had our Pumpkin Parties at preschool on Wednesday for Pre-K and Thursday for Primary. I hate party days, but these went really well. 

6. That last one is worth two, since there were two days of parties.

And you thought I was only a preschool teacher....

7. My husband had to go to Springfield for the afternoon on Thursday, so I rode with him, just for fun. On our way back, we stopped at a restaurant in a town halfway between Springfield and Joplin (pretty much the ONLY town between Springfield and Joplin). My tummy is STILL happy about that decision! 

8. My husband's tummy was so happy about that meal that he, unbeknownst to me, undid his pants at some point on the way home and forgot about it until AFTER we had gone through the Wendy's drive-thru so we could bring Emma something to eat. The good news is that the drive-thru employees didn't seem to notice, so we weren't stopped by the police on our way home.

9. Let me be perfectly clear that his junk wasn't showing or anything, but his pants were very not buttoned or zipped. AND he was driving a company car, logo and all....

10. I took my new phone to AT&T on Friday so they could activate it. I backed my phone up to my laptop (or so I thought) right before I went, just in case. I expected them to put all my stuff from the old phone onto the new phone, which they did when my kids got new phones a year or so ago, but they don't do that anymore. Instead, I had to go home and do it myself. I was running some errands first when my husband called, but I couldn't HEAR him at all, although he could hear me just fine. Tried it again a few minutes later with the same result, so back to AT&T I went. I was explaining my problem when the guy who helped me saw me and came over to find out what was wrong. He grinned, took my phone from me, and peeled off a layer of plastic that was surrounding the phone. Oops. When I got home, it only took me just over THREE HOURS to get the new phone to have the same apps and stuff that the old phone had, but I finally accomplished it ALL BY MYSELF.  Now it will just be a matter of getting used to such a big phone, but I think the pay-off of being able to see the screen will make it all worth it.

How's your Halloween week been? Did you have 650 trick or treaters like I did (true story)? Link up YOUR thankfuls, right here, right now.

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A Fly on our (Chicken Coop) Wall, Amycake and the Dude, Considerings, Finding Ninee, Getting Literal, I Want Backsies, The Meaning of Me, Thankful Me, Uncharted, The Wakefield Doctrine

Join the Ten Things of Thankful Facebook Group

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Refuse: A Six Sentence Story

To the casual observer, the two women in the small, outer office could have been having a conversation about the latest fashions, but upon closer look, the observer would see one woman seated behind her secretary desk, leaning back slightly, a half smile upon her lips as she took a deep draw from her cigarette, while the other stood tensely, feet planted, just inside the doorway of the office, her eyes narrowed beneath the brim of her hat, her neatly gloved hands clenching her pocket book.

"No, Lydia," said the seated woman calmly, exhaling as she spoke, the cigarette smoke swirling into a cloud around her as she crossed her legs and let one shoe dangle casually from her toes.

"Just like that, you refuse to stop seeing him?" Lydia asked incredulously.

"I love him, too, so yes, I refuse," said the other woman.

"He doesn't love you," spat Lydia, pulling a gun out of her pocket book and pointing it steadily, and as the other woman threw her head back and laughed, the door beyond the desk opened to a man standing there, his hand on the knob, eyes darting from his secretary to his wife as he processed the scene before him. 

"Refuse THIS, bitch," Lydia said as she fired the gun and watched dispassionately as the man stepped back, mouth open as if to speak, then slowly removed his hand from the doorknob and crumpled into the doorway...