Wednesday, February 12, 2014

Wordless Wednesday 2.12.14






Shirley Temple Black
April 23, 1928 - February 10, 2014

My mother's Shirley Temple doll, ca.1937

Monday, February 10, 2014

Be All That You Can Be

Almost exactly this time a year ago, I wrote about meeting my childhood friend Dana (who lives in California) when she was visiting her son and daughter in law and adorably adorable granddaughter in St. Louis. We met in a town between Joplin and St. Louis, and we had the BEST visit. There is nothing, NOTHING, like spending time with a friend who was there for some of your stupider years. Last Thursday, we got to do it again.

It was a little touch and go as to whether or not we would be able to meet this time, as we had, yes, more snow on Tuesday morning. And three more snow days, including Thursday (naturally, after I had already arranged for the day off and scheduled a sub). But the main roads were clear, and I was off and running; that is, until I saw that my gas gauge was on a quarter of a tank.

Now, just a few weeks ago, during one of our many arctic blasts, I knocked the gas cap to the ground and it rolled under the car while I was filling the car with gas, leading me to proclaim that there should be a law that women do not have to pump their own gas, ever. 


And here I was, temperature 9 degrees, wind chill below zero, pavement icy, preparing to fill the damn tank. I pulled the little lever to open the gas tank door, got out of the car, ran my credit card through the card reader, turned to remove the gas cap (reminding myself to be vewy, vewy careful with that wascally gas cap) and...

...the little door to the gas tank was still shut. As in frozen shut. As in I don't have enough gas to go much more than 45 or 50 miles into a 150 drive and I CAN'T GET THE DAMN DOOR TO POP OPEN. 

I didn't want to scratch the paint, so using my keys to chip away the ice was not a viable option. I dug around in the car and found a wooden clothespin (and don't ask me why there was a clothespin in the front seat of the car, because I really have no idea whatsoever) and tried to chip away the ice (which was in the crack between the little door and the car body and nearly impossible to reach), but the clothespin broke after a few stabs. The emery board I found broke before I could worry about its surface scratching the paint. Then, I found a pen. A plain old Bic stick pen, the kind my son favors, with a removable cap. A removable cap with a pointy part for clipping it onto a shirt pocket. Or for painstakingly sawing at the ice around the little door to the gas tank, which is exactly what I used it for. And twenty minutes after arriving at the gas station, I finally got the ice chipped away, the little door opened, the gas cap off and not dropped, and the tank filled.

(In case you were wondering, no one, and I mean NO ONE, offered any help, and you CANNOT TELL ME the guy working inside the convenience store didn't notice my struggle, although, on second thought, he came out to diddle around with a pump near me while I was waiting for the tank to fill, and he was wearing shorts and a t-shirt, so maybe I'm wrong about him being aware of anything around him.)


I was finally on my way and, after regaining feeling in my extremities, spent a pleasant two hours toodling down the highway, entertaining myself by singing at the top of my lungs to the radio.  I was counting the miles to St. Robert, the halfway point between Joplin and St. Louis, according to my friend Marshall. Marshall knows this because he is something very important in the Army and has to travel there frequently to go to Fort Leonard Wood, a base located just outside the town (I'll tell you how I know this part in a minute). He also told me there was a Panera Bread "right by the highway" (if you have ESP, because GPS isn't going to help you here).

As I was nearing St. Robert, I got a call from Dana. She had just arrived and couldn't find the Panera ANYWHERE, in spite of using GPS to find it. She was surprised how a town as small as this one could hide a Panera so well, and she was not seeing much in the way of civilization. I said, "Marshall SAID it was close to the highway!" Dana finally had to pee so badly that she decided to stop somewhere and ask for directions. A few minutes later, she called me back, said in spite of her filthy, lying GPS, she was now at Panera, and told me to make sure I turned right when I exited the highway. Roger that.

A minute or two later, I exited at St. Robert and dutifully turned right at the end of the exit ramp. No Panera. I kept driving. No Panera. I kept driving. No civilization. Remembering Dana saying there wasn't much in the way of civilization, I thought I must be on the right track. 

Until I wasn't anymore.

Because ahead of me, with no warning I SWEAR, and with nowhere to turn around, was Fort Leonard Wood. 

I got in line behind the other cars, all waiting to drive through Checkpoint Charlie. All with some sort of credentials and reasons to be there. All wearing nifty Army clothes. I started getting a little panicky. Okay, a LOT panicky. How was I going to explain this? 

I inched forward until I reached the guard, rolled down my window and said, "I don't know what happened. I was just trying to find Panera." The guard (when did the Army start recruiting 15 year old kids, by the way, or am I just getting old?) burst out laughing, showed me where I could cut through some orange cones, turn around, and head back to town, and gave me impeccable directions to Panera. Which, it turned out, WAS sort of right by the highway, but you wouldn't know it if coming from the direction of the highway unless you could swivel your head around like an owl as you drove (or used the powers of ESP, which I do not possess).

(I would have liked to have taken a picture of the entrance to the base and inserted it here, but I got in a little trouble taking pictures on an air force base one time and thought it best to avoid pissing off the army, too.)

Dana was waiting for me inside Panera. We ate lunch and talked and laughed and took stupid pictures of ourselves and talked and laughed some more. The time flew by all too quickly, but with any luck, it won't be another year until we get together again. Because spending time with a good friend is worth nearly losing your toes to the cold.

And getting lost.

And almost joining the army.



Friday, February 7, 2014

Winter? What's To Love?

I loathe, despise and detest winter. In spite of wearing long underwear, layers and layers of clothing, and fuzzy socks AND utilizing a Snuggie (don't judge, a Snuggie is both warm AND practical), I'm still cold. We've had more than our usual amount of snowfall and ice this winter, and don't even bring up the Polar Vortex, which I believe is proof that Santa hates what we've done to the Christmas season and is paying us back in spades. 

And since anyone participating in the Ten Things of Thankful knows it is a cinch to create that TToT list when everything's going your way, I have decided to find ten things about this loathsome season for which I can be thankful.

1. Indoor plumbing. I simply cannot fathom having to go use an outhouse at any time whatsoever in this kind of weather. Can NOT. Cannot. Can't. Even though my old, old house is a drafty one, and the toilet seat can be cold enough to cause an involuntary scream when one's bare behind meets it, it still beats walking down the path to the outdoors privy.




2. Snow days. Snow days are wonderful little gifts from God that are meant to be treasured. There's nothing quite like the anticipation of watching the tv screen to see if your school district is included in the cancellation list crawling across the bottom of the screen. (We have had three this week.)

3. Bulky clothing and heavy coats that hide a lot.

4. No one knows whether or not you have shaved your legs (see #3, above).

5. Hot soup for supper.

6. Heated car seats, or the bun warmers, as we call them. Pure bliss.

7. Car heaters at all. These are something you take for granted until you have a car in which the heater doesn't work. Which we do. (Since my husband says there's no reason to fix it, as spring is coming soon, I refuse to drive that car, because spring may be coming, but it isn't HERE. And that car does NOT have heated seats. It's really just a step up from driving in a covered wagon.)

8. I can buy ice cream at the grocery store, and it doesn't get mushy before I can get it home. (This is especially true if driving the car with no heat.) And yes, we still buy (and eat) ice cream in the winter.

9. It's club volleyball season!





10. Warm kitty bodies.




Forecast for next week: snow and cold. Maybe we'll get another snow day out of it....

What are YOU thankful for? Link your post up right here.

Ten Things of Thankful


 Your hosts

Wednesday, February 5, 2014

(Not Entirely) Wordless Wednesday 2.5.14

When she was born, I didn't know if I were going to live to take care of her, having been diagnosed with peripartum cardiomyopathy shortly after her birth.







As a newborn, I kept her bassinet pulled up next to my side of the bed, sleeping with one hand inside, because, although it was entirely unfounded, I had a fear that something would happen to her while she slept.

And this week, she turned 15.



Happy birthday, beautiful girl. 



Friday, January 31, 2014

Ten Things Of Thankful Plus A Bonus One

January is over already? Seriously? That should really count as number one on my list of Ten Things of Thankful, because it makes us that much closer to Spring, but that's too easy. Here's my real list:

1. Dry, colder than a well digger's ass weather makes it much easier to straighten my hair.

2. One of the only really troublesome side effects I have from taking Arimidex daily is bone pain. I have a lot of trouble with my hands hurting, as well as the tops of my feet and my hips. The pain in my hips often keeps me awake at night, and even Aleve doesn't give me much relief. Some time in mid-December, I realized my hips weren't hurting anymore, and my hands only minimally. The Pain Fairy came back this week, which sucks, but I'm thankful for the month and a half that it was gone!

3. I make no bones about the fact that I am not a fan of preschool parties. This week, we had two. The first party we had was less party than it was a themed day. We had a "Snow Day" (not the good kind where you get to stay home and bake bread and cookies and stuff), and it wasn't as bad as I anticipated. We had a presentation by a volunteer from the Audubon Center about animals in winter, and my kids were an excellent audience. We had a pretend snowball fight with snow forts made from cardboard boxes wrapped in white paper and soft, fabric snowballs, which was a HUGE hit with the kids, and the bonus was that they didn't get too wound up and crazy from it. 

4. The second party of the week was a 50's themed party, celebrating our 50th day of preschool. The kids are invited to wear 50's clothing, and we wear it as well. (Yes, I wore a poodle skirt, or a Scottie skirt, to be honest - I even have a crinoline petticoat that I wear underneath it, although I skipped it this year, because it scratches the backs of my legs terribly.) We play a scavenger hunt game for 50 items, we eat ice cream sundaes, we hula hoop, we dance,and we try to blow bubbles with bubblegum.  The kids and parents enjoy it, but I can truly say I am thankful it is over for another year.

5. Ruby has always had a fascination with the toilet. She particularly likes to stand on her hind feet, front paws on the seat, and watch the water go down after flushing. Today, while standing at the bathroom counter picking dead skin off my poor chapped lips packing up my makeup for our trip to a volleyball tournament, I heard Ruby jump up on the toilet, where SOMEONE (not me, for the record) had left the lid up. I turned around to see her balancing on the seat, head down, lap, lap, lapping the toilet water (note to self: in the future, be very certain Ruby hasn't had her face in your drinking glass before taking a drink). Just as I was saying, "Really, Ruby?" she lost her footing and one front leg went in the toilet bowl. As she was trying to recover from this, her hind legs went in, and, with a panic-stricken face and much splashing of toilet water, pulled herself back up onto the seat, jumped down, and scampered across the room, at which time she gave herself a thorough washing. Curiosity may not have killed the cat this time, but it sure made her pretty wet and, hopefully, scared her enough that she won't want to use it as a water bowl again. 


That USED to be my glass of Diet Coke....



6. I ate an entire bag of Cinnamon Lips that I found in the Valentine section of Hobby Lobby. Glad I got that out of my system (figuratively only, and that's all I'm going to say about THAT) and won't be tempted to buy them again. Well, this year, anyway.




7. My daughter got cast to be in the chorus of the school musical. Not a lot of freshmen in the cast, and she is very excited to be one of them. The play is "Pajama Game," and the only thing I know about it is that is where the song "Steam Heat" came from. I'm sure I will become very familiar with it in the weeks to come.

8. I am thankful for the Comment Moderation feature on Blogger that allows me to see the "English as a Second Language" comments that sometimes come with the spam hits on my blog (and which screw with my stats, but that's another story). The last time I wrote about this, the comment from my close friend Anonymous called me a whiner and an attention speaker. THIS time, dear Anonymous is dissing the eloquent comments by my lovely blog friends. ARE YOUSE PEOPLES GOING TO TAKE THIS LYING DOWN?!




9. We're expecting more winter weather next week, specifically, on Tuesday, which also happens to be my daughter's 15th birthday. She is not happy about the prospect of a snow day (the real kind, not the party kind) on her birthday, because if she's not at school, then she won't have birthday accolades tossed her way all day. But I digress. I not only took note of the upcoming weather conditions, I actually got all of my birthday shopping for her done almost a week early. FOR REAL! And I did GOOOOOOD! She's going to love her gifts!

10. Volleyball this weekend! I love volleyball tournaments (when I'm not getting whacked in the back of the head by the ball rebounding against a wall, that is). Got my chair. Got my snacks. Balls up!*

Link up your Ten Things of Thankful right here, right now.

*For those of you whose minds might be in the gutter - ahem Clark and Kristi and Beth - that phrase simply means the server has tossed the ball and it's in play.





Ten Things of Thankful


 Your hosts

Tuesday, January 28, 2014

Like Mother, Like Daughter

I stole this from her
Twitter account - shhhh!
This past Saturday night was Snowball, the winter formal dance at our high school. It is a girl ask boy dance, and my daughter opted out of going because (a) she doesn't have a boyfriend (and that's fine with me); (b) most of the kids who go to this dance are couples rather than just friends; and (c) she didn't want to ask someone to be her date "just so he could try to grind against me all night." I cannot complain about her decision process on that one. 

Since she didn't go to the dance, thereby (according to her) saving us money on a dress, shoes, etc., she thought we should go out to eat dinner. She had spent the day in a semi-vegetative state, lying on the couch watching Netflix, in the same clothes she slept in the night before, so our restaurant choice could not include one in which she might run into classmates who were eating out before going to the dance. We decided to go to a very casual little Mexican restaurant in an adjacent town. 

I, too, had spent much of the day in a semi-vegetative state, sitting in my big comfy chair with a kitten in my lap, in the same clothes I had slept in the night before. (Unlike my daughter) I took a quick shower before we went out and put on sweat pants and a gray Joplin Eagles hoodie (very, VERY casual restaurant). I walked into the kitchen, where my daughter, the college boy, and my husband were waiting, and looked at my daughter. 

She was wearing a gray Joplin Eagles hoodie.

"MooooOOOOOOM! Go change!" said she to me. 

"YOU go change," I replied. "I've had mine on longer."

"Do you ever LOOK at me? I wore this to bed last night and I'm STILL wearing it. I've had MINE on longer."

"All the more reason you should change," I told her. But, good sport that I am, I went ahead and went up to my room, changing into a maroon Missouri State Alumni sweatshirt.

I walked back down the stairs, where my husband and the college boy were waiting by the front door, ready to walk out the door. My daughter joined us.

Wearing a maroon Missouri State sweatshirt.

"YOU change!" we both said at the same time.

"NO ONE'S CHANGING! JUST WEAR THE DAMN SWEATSHIRTS!" said my husband.

And so we went out to eat for what was the first (and hopefully last) time we ever wore matchy matchy mother/daughter outfits.



Unless anyone thinks I can get her to wear this little ensemble....

Friday, January 24, 2014

Short Week and Long Thankfuls

Oh, four day work week, why did you seem so looooong? Maybe because last weekend's much needed R&R time at my parents' lake house went by too fast? The good news is the faster the weekend, the sooner the next edition of Ten Things of Thankful. My thankful week:

1. My daughter had her first show choir competition last Saturday, and her choir, comprised of 9th and 10th grade boys and girls, got first place in their division. I didn't get any pictures, because I was using my iPhone as a videorecorder. From the back of the auditorium. With bad stage lighting. But the audio isn't too bad. Considering it's taken from my iPhone. From the back of the auditorium. It's a long clip, and I don't expect anyone to watch the whole thing, but if you're so inclined, listen to a minute or two. (Caveat: the first soloist was a last minute pinch hitter when the regular soloist fell and broke his elbow a couple of hours before the performance and had to go to the hospital.)




2. Sunday morning, I was reading the TToT entry by Joy @ I Can Say Mama, and she listed as #4 the custard filled doughnut called a Berliner that she was enjoying at that very moment. Well, I couldn't think of anything else after that, so I finally gave in to the craving and went to Krispy Kreme and bought doughnuts for everyone, and two, TWO chocolate iced, custard filled doughnuts for just moi. Ahhhh! I needed that, Joy!


No make-up, hair thrown into ponytail.
This is the face of doughnut desperation.


3. As thankful as I was for those doughnuts, I'm EXTREMELY thankful there is no Krispy Kreme where I live. That would be baaaaad.

4. On my way home from Krispy Kreme, I passed what at first glance, I thought was supposed to be Sponge Bob Squarepants, but upon closer inspection, turned out to be a giant walking doughnut advertising another doughnut shop. I was so amused, I drove around the block and passed it again, just so I could get a picture.




5. My mother's choice of lunch on Sunday was worthy of a giggle. Or two.


Cheese spread, crackers, and
a ginormous marshmallow


6. Ruby had a delightful time at the lake house, and although she was more than a little rotten, my parents, especially my mom, enjoyed having her there. And that's even with Ruby drinking out my mom and dad's water glasses every chance she got, strolling across the kitchen table several times (that we know of), mooching food, climbing in the refrigerator, knocking my dad's little stash of cough drops off the end table, one by one, and scattering them all over the living room, falling off said end table, taking everything on it with her as she went down, and getting stuck in a glue board that was under the love seat.


Licking the ice cubes in my
mom's glass of Pepsi


My dad defending his glass of
water and his sandwich.


It's completely exhausting to
get in so much trouble.

7. On Monday, my daughter and I went to American Eagle to exchange a pair of jeans. She found several tops on the clearance rack she wanted to try on as well. The salesclerk (is that what you call them?) let her into a dressing room, and I sat on a chair, feeling very much like a mom, when my daughter came out to model for me and...let the dressing room door shut behind her. The look of panic on her face was priceless, but she wouldn't let me go get the saleclerk to let her back in, opting instead to crawl under the door. I'm grateful for the good laugh it gave me and only wish she hadn't outsmarted me (and my camera) by backing into the room instead of crawling back in head first.


How to re-gain ingress to a dressing room
one has locked herself out of.

8. So thankful to have the lake house to go to. Over the past 25 years that my parents have owned it, I have gone there to lick my wounds a number of times. It's also a place to spend time with family, relax, and recover from whatever ails you, mental or physical. 


Ruby watching geese in the yard.

9. Oncology appointment this week,and so far, so good. I love this door in the lab area of the office and finally thought to take a picture of it. Anybody else see saggy boobies?


If you don't see boobs here, we have
nothing left to talk about.

10. I baked the best damn loaf of bread I've ever made on Wednesday. We ate half of that bad boy that night, hot from the oven and slathered with butter, along with some pretty amazing lentil soup, if I do say so myself. Comfort food for a cold night! 


Tasted even better than it looked.


The Polar Vortex is rearing its ugly head again and howling around my house. Yours, too? Stay in and stay warm and link up with us at TToT.








Ten Things of Thankful


 Your hosts