My husband stood out in the rain and grilled chicken for us for supper. He must have really wanted grilled chicken, because I don't think we were worth it otherwise.
I ran to the store BEFORE it started raining for a few things for supper. Of course, it was pouring when I left the store. I had four bags of food (well, and dish soap) that I lugged to the car rather than pushing it in a cart, because I thought I would stay drier that way. I thought incorrectly, as I couldn't walk very fast with four heavy bags on my arms, plus whether I was pushing a cart or not, I had to slosh through rivers of rainwater in my flip flops.
I loaded the bags in the van behind the driver's seat, because our doors aren't automatic and that seemed to be the best way to get myself completely drenched while putting the bags in the car. Complete success.
I pulled up as close as I could to the carport when I got to the house (my husband's car was inside the carport, rat bastard), but it was still raining buckets, I was already wet and didn't want to get wetter, so I torqued and twisted and successfully got three of the bags of groceries from behind the driver's seat to the front. The fourth bag proved to be a problem, as a jar of Miracle Whip rolled out and stopped between the back seat and the sliding door. my options were to get out of the car, stand in the driving rain, yank the sliding door open (it's not an easy task on a GOOD day) and catch the jar as it rolled out the door, or get on my knees in the driver's seat and reach around to the bag and grab the jar. I opted for Plan B, which would have worked beautifully had my arm been about a foot longer.
The Joplin tornado was four years ago Friday. Ever since then, I have had two pieces of broken ballet barre from the destroyed dance studio where my daughter used to dance on the floor of the van behind the front seats. I kept meaning to take them in the house, but they became handy when I found out I could use one of them to lock the back passenger door by reaching behind the seat and hitting the lock with the end of the barre (my son broke the automatic part of the lock about a year after we got the van, and we never had it repaired). When I found out I couldn't reach the Miracle Whip, even kneeling in the front seat and reaching as far as I could, I put the ballet barre to work. It only took me about 10 minutes, beginning to end, and if that barre would have curved, it would have cut that time down to about 30 seconds, but I got that jar without standing in the rain, by golly, and only wrenched my shoulder, got a stitch in my side, and a charlie horse in my calf as I wrestled for the jar. Then I opened the car door, stepped out with the bags, and got drenched walking the four feet from the car to the carport. Sigh.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
My son, the College Boy, didn't think my daughter and I were very good at sharing the bathroom counter while we were there:
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
My son's vehicle needed gas, so our caravan of two stopped at the next town, about 30 miles down the road. While he pulled up to the gas pump, I pulled up to the convenience store to get a Diet Coke, because The Cold Named Linda is making me exceedingly dry. I walked into the convenience store only to find out the did not have Diet Coke at the fountain, so I walked out again, because NO, DIET PEPSI IS NOT OKAY. My son thought my tires looked a little low, so while his car filled with gas, he got the tire gauge out and checked the tires. As he did that, I glanced around for the air pump and saw it around the side of the building and currently blocked by a Krispy Kreme delivery truck. My son pronounced the tires "good enough," and as he started to head back to his car, the Krispy Kreme delivery guy walked up to me and handed me a GINORMOUS SACK with three boxes of Krispy Kreme doughnuts inside. THAT'S THREE DOZEN DOUGHNUTS.
"Would you like to have these? Several of the stores on my route are closed because of the holiday," he said, and after my mouth opened and closed a couple of times like a halibut, I said, "Yes! Thank you!" I got in the car and gleefully handed my booty over to my daughter (who had not budged out of her seat or lifted her head from her phone the entire time we were at the gas station, and this is important). My son pulled up next to me, and I handed him an entire box, and we hit the road.
My daughter only somewhat jokingly said, "He must have given them to us, because he saw me in the front seat and thought I was cute."
"He could't even SEE you in the front seat," I replied. "And he gave them to ME."
We wasted little time calling my husband to tell him about our windfall.
"Are you KIDDING me? The ONE TIME I don't ride back with you, and you get FREE KRISPY KREME DOUGHNUTS?!" was his response.
When we got home, my son and I stood in the kitchen and discussed the merits of each (remaining) doughnut in the three boxes (we may have eaten a couple of them during the drive home).
"That was really nice of that guy to give us the doughnuts," I said. "How cool is it to have someone give you three dozen Krispy Kremes?! Of course, Emma thinks he did it because she was cute."
"He did it because he saw me checking the air in your tires," my son said. "He was rewarding me for being a good Samaritan."
"He gave the doughnuts to ME. Did it occur to anyone that maybe he gave them to me because he thought I was HOT? That he thought I was a MILF?"
And I tried not to wish my son would choke just a little on the doughnut he was eating as he laughed and laughed and laughed....