Saturday, August 17, 2013

Looking For The Silver Lining

This week has been an emotional roller coaster. Have I ever mentioned that I hate roller coasters? I like happy rides, like the Peter Pan ride at Disneyland.

But roller coaster it has been. My daughter has had a fabulous first week as a freshman in high school and made the freshman volleyball team. (You cannot, in your deepest, wildest imagination, picture how low the valley would have been had she not made that team.) That's a peak. I have been asked to be one of the co-hosts of the Ten Things of Thankful blog link. That's a really high peak. (PLEASE link up your Ten Things post if you haven't already. I don't want to be the loser co-host!)

Only one real low point, but, oh, what a valley! We moved my son to college this week to begin his freshman year (you can read about it here, if you'd like). It still doesn't seem real to me that he won't be living at home; therefore, to keep myself from having a pity party about it, I have decided to devote my Ten Things of Thankful this week to the positive side of him not living at home (because I'm all about the silver lining).

Scholars House. This is the back and is
actually the main entrance.


I'm thankful my son is living in the dorm now, because:

1. There won't be dirty dishes left in the sink so the food in them can vulcanize on them. 

2. No more Diet Coke cans left sitting on tables, in windowsills, on the floor, on the staircase, even on the bathroom counter.  What's more, he doesn't always finish them, so there is upwards of half a can of beverage still in them. Gahhh!

3. The trash cans won't be used for target practice (with the target missed rather frequently).

4. My living room won't look like the fitting rooms at Kohl's at the end of a Super Saturday Sale. (Why he likes to undress in the living room is something I have never understood.)

5. Less laundry to do.

This is one of the first times I have
ever seen him hang clothes on a hanger.


6. When I start my car, my ears won't bleed from the sudden assault by the car stereo.


7. My grocery bill will be greatly reduced.

8. My chocolate chips won't mysteriously disappear from the pantry.

9. I can serve pasta and rice and vegetables other than potatoes, green beans or corn and not be met with a curled lip.

10. His size 15 shoes won't be left on the floor for us to trip over, and his size 15 feet won't rattle the floorboards of our 80+ year old house when he runs through it.

All set to take on college.

Do I sound convincing that there is anything positive about him not living at home anymore? Because I cried all the way home after leaving him there. All. The Way. Home.

But he'll adjust to living at school, and so will I.

Some day.


Ten Things of Thankful


 Your hosts

38 comments:

  1. Can I link a ten things to smile about post I linked elsewhere?

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  2. hey good to have you here!

    The high school I can vaguely remember, the (first) year in college much better (sort of..).
    Would it help to hear about the fun of being in a college dorm? probably not, huh?

    lol (Phyllis and I have always had a dog... I use the term 'only dog'... pack of three and all) in any event, sometimes I think about the pluses and the minuses of the the two species (no! wait, this will make sense...I promise)*
    but one of the nice things about canine family members is that they don't move away to college.

    Friends with children in that phase tell me that it is an adjustment (as I imagine it must be) but eventually you find things that offset the change..in a positive way.

    *on second thought, maybe not lol

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    1. Thanks, Clark! I lived in the dorm and can probably match your stories ;)

      I think the REALLY brutal adjustment is going to be when the youngest one leaves for college. But I have four years to work on that post.

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  3. Dyanne, I cried reading that last line and god I can only imagine. It is crazy having my little two girls here, but I can't even imagine when they leave me someday. For god's sake, I am already teary eyed about Lily starting pre-school this fall and having both my girls in school for 2 1/2 a day. Yeah, so you can see where this will go for me too someday. Hugs to you and totally thinking of you!

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    1. I didn't even cry when he graduated, and he was one of the speakers! But leaving him at college? Holy cow, that was hard!

      You may cry for the first ten minutes of having both girls in preschool, but once you realize you get to be utterly alone for a couple of hours, you'll probably get over it!

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  4. Oh my heart hurts for you but you are right...you'll adjust. And this won't help you at all (well, maybe) but just think of all your blog readers you are doing this ahead of, paving the way, and all that good stuff? Does that help? I reckon not.

    Sorry...I've got nothing helpful. But I do so much appreciate your attempt at a cheerful, convincing list. It was a valient effort. And one you may, with time, actually start to believe.

    And HEY -- you weren't the last one to link up, not by a long shot. Nicely done, my friend! :)

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    1. Thank you! It helps! I think it's harder to let your child go now than it was when I went to college, because, thanks to cell phones, we are used to being in constant communication with our kids.

      I should have also included on my list that I can see the top of the table in the entryway/living room where he has piled his stuff for the past, oh, 12 years, at least. I cleaned that sucker off FAST!

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  5. College WAS tough...marriage was tougher...sorry...He is such a handsome guy..maybe because he looks so happy and excited...

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    1. It's a good thing he's very shy, or I'd be more worried about the marriage thing (yeah, thanks for that!).

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  6. Awwww, I just want to give you a big squishy hug! {{{}}} That list sounded so familiar. Kids! LOL

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    1. Thank you! I should have added how the bathroom, after he takes a shower, won't look like a walrus has taken up residence in there.

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  7. 1. I am not convinced. Crying seemed like the only appropriate response. 2. How did you get the linked posts to line up like that? Interesting... 3. Will you have less laundry to do, or will you just have to do it all in one day when he comes home for a visit?
    I'm crying with/for you on this one. I expect you to do it for me in four years when my oldest goes. No excuses that it will be your daughter leaving home, too.
    Welcome to the co-hosting!

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    1. 1. Then I responded appropriately. 2. I only did what Lizzi told me to do. 3. Pretty sure his plan is to bring it all home and have me do it, but he always brings me laundry one mountain at a time, so that won't be unusual.

      I will cry right along with you when Phoenix goes to college. And not because my daughter is also going at the same time. And not because my son will have just graduated from college and will be moving on to (hopefully) med school. JUST. FOR. YOU.

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    2. You are a true friend. A peach, I tell you. :)

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  8. I am sure he will love it at college and you'll love the space, Dyanne!

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    1. Once he gets used to it, he's going to have a great time. I guess the same could be said for me!

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  9. Yes, you'll adjust. So glad you see the positive!! What are you going to do do with all the free time????? =)

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    1. His sister will expand to fill up any free time it may have created with him going away!

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  10. Dropping the first child off to college is a heartbreaker, but you will adjust. Looking for a silver lining is a great idea. I recently attended a funeral. The son who delivered the eulogy is a comedian, and whenever it became too hard to speak, he would throw in something that he would not miss about his dad. The eulogy was peppered with the phrase, "Polka music!"

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    1. I'm going to have to remember that (morbid as it may sound) for my dad, because "polka music" fits for him, too. Great idea!

      My son's been away a lot this summer, between a trip to the beach, a mission trip and work, so it still doesn't seem real that he's gone and not coming home any time soon.

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  11. I loved this list and the entire time I was reading it, I was like, I *know* I will get to the end and she will say something about missing him already.

    I won't be surprised if you buy chocolate chips and then send them to your son. Oh and you can look forward to all the laundry he brings home when he visits, and I know you will make him his favorite meals at that time too. So no worries, you may have a break from some of these for a while, but the birds always come back to the nest, even for short visits, and they always want that taste of home.

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    1. Thank you! I'm sure there will be care packages heading his way. I'm still hoping he'll get some girl to show him how to do laundry and not try to bring it home.

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  12. Aw! First, I am crying myself just picturing the heartbreak of taking my own son to college. In 14 years. I can imagine that this was a really sad day for you and totally understand you wanting to search for the silver lining. And size 15 feet? AWESOME :)
    Also, I'll betcha that his dorm room quickly has nothing on hangers. You've done a good job raising him, mama. He'll miss you back. He really will.

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    1. Thank you, Kristi! It's so weird to have him gone. People tell you it goes by fast and you poo poo it, but they're right. It does.

      I'm hoping living in such a small space will force him to be neat and keep his clothes picked up, but I'm not holding my breath.

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  13. I may be biased, but the living room seems like the perfect place to depants! Though, there is very little justification for Diet-Coke abuse! The nerve!

    Kind of curious where you are thinking you are off the hook with laundry lol I've always thought that bringing it home for the parents to do came with the territory of college and saving money. So don't hold your breath on that one ;-)

    Snuck a peek at the hope of him meeting some girl to teach him laundry. And the whole time I was thinking of how to make a joke about size 15 shoes... I'm sure it's in there somewhere... and someone is happy or lucky or something along the way.

    It's too late, I should go to bed, but I don't think that will be happening any time soon.

    I'm sure you will hear from him and get visits throughout the year!

    I didn't cry :-( but I attest to being an emotional guy... I swear... and I was touched.

    Jak at The Cryton Chronicles & Dreams in the Shade of Ink

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    1. Not just in the living room, but right inside the doorway from the entry hall, so anybody coming in the house could see boxers, shorts, tshirts, socks, lifeguard swimsuit, workout clothes, size 15 shoes.

      Wasting Diet Coke is a travesty.

      I'm pretty sure a suitcase full of dirty clothes will come home with him every time he visits.

      His joke about size 15 shoes is big shoes, big...socks.

      You didn't cry? Did you read the post right before this one? The one called Letting Go?

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  14. Hmm I can't reply to my last comment, but wanted to say congrats to becoming a Co-Host!

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    1. You couldn't reply because I didn't properly hit the button.

      Thank you, Jak! I feel like I should serve snacks or something.

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  15. Oh! I so wanted to link-up, too! Wrote my post on Saturday but didn't get it up and running till this morning :-(

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    1. Noooooo! Next week! Promise you will write a post and link it up next week! I will remind you.

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  16. I am all about looking for the silver lining, too. I know what you are going through. My daughter just closed on her first house and will be leaving home as soon as all the re-painting is done. I'm convincing myself that turning her room into a home office is going to make me happy ...

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    1. Still can't kick a path through my son's room, so the only way it will turn into an office or anything else is with the use of a bulldozer.

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  17. Glad the link up worked out for you so well.

    Hope things are feeling a bit more normal for you after a week (I finally made it over, and thought I'd be polite and leave you a comment this time)

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  18. I am definitely feeling you on this list. I have a 16 year old son, so I have a little longer before my son is off to college. There are only a couple things on your list that aren't on mine: 1) My son only drinks water and uses the same water bottle (because he's into living a healthy lifestyle). 2) Despite his healthy lifestyle, he will eat the creamy center out of two bags of oreo cookies, so I can't wait to be able to eat an oreo cookie with the cream still in it. And 3) I'll finally be able to listen to music or turn up the TV loud enough to hear. (Everything has to be as low as a whisper because he has Asperger's and has very sensitive hearing). I'm sure I'll miss him, though. He's the last one here.

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    1. My son works out and is very active, but he eats and drinks mostly crap (pizza, hamburgers, diet coke). He would eat both bags of Oreos without batting an eye. I still have one at home, and she's the noisy one, so when she goes, it will REALLY be quiet around here!

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