Wednesday, August 12, 2015

Wind: A Six Sentence Story


"I'm sorry," she whispered from her perch on the porch steps, the gentle evening breeze stirring her cotton skirt around her bare feet, and she watched through tear dampened lashes as he turned and walked away from her. As he retreated down the gravel lane, she wrapped her arms around her knees, hugging them to her as though she were trying to hold all of her grief inside until eventually, profound sadness overcame her, her head dropping to her knees, and she wept, first silently, then with increasing intensity until she was sobbing uncontrollably, her body rocking to and fro with the rhythm of her sorrow.

She cried until long after the crunching of his footsteps faded away, and when she had used up every tear, she lifted her face to the setting sun, her tear-streaked cheeks glistening in the waning light, and inhaled deeply, her body shuddering with exhaustion. Closing her eyes, she leaned against the porch rail and pictured the box of memories of him she had stored in her mind: his face, his voice, his laugh, his smell, the feel of his arms around her, of his lips against hers. She tenderly removed each memory, one at a time, recalling each moment with him and causing a stirring so deep within her at each thought that it sent a tingle all the way down to her toes. But as she finished reliving each cherished memory, she tore it into bits and made an imaginary pile in her lap, and when the box was empty, she rose with a sigh and slowly walked into the house, the bits and pieces of him falling to the porch floor, where, stirred by the wind, they scattered down the lane and disappeared from her sight.



Linking up with Ivy at Uncharted for Six Sentence Stories with the prompt "wind."

28 comments:

  1. WOW! HOLY....This is so wonderful! You totally painted a scene! Really good! ...and no one even had to die! Hahahahahahhaah....

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  2. Wonderful! A sad and very emotional story that is felt with each sentence. I love the way you expressed the steps she took to rid herself of all the memories built with him.

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  3. This is wonderful but I doubt whether I could have applied that to all the break ups in my past I don't know. My recovery was much slower!

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  4. * damn both noun and verb; in the language of Y Chromia, 'you have created an emotional landscape that draws the Reader into it, like walking into a mural on a citywide wall, except even when you leave, the feelings associated with the story remains.

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  5. oh this is wonderful! I wish I could do the same, to ease the pain...one day perhaps. Well-written tale :)

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    1. Wouldn't it be nice to be able to do that? Keep working on it.

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  6. I thought for sure those bits were going to rise up and suffocate the guy walking away. :)
    I am so impressed with the writing you guys are doing each and every week!

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  7. Oh this was just soooo well written!! I was riveted by your exquisite descriptions, Dyanne. Just achingly beautiful. So glad I stopped over here to read this! You need to write a book. Seriously.

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    1. Thank you so much, Chris! It means so much to me to hear you say that.

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  8. Bravo! *thunderous applause, standing ovation*
    This was excellent! Beautifully written.

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  9. So beautiful. The image of the bare feet and long skirt on the porch steps took me back to maybe the fifties or sixties. And the emotion, the closure. Just fantastic.

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  10. Very sad, and i wish i could do that with old memories i don't want any more.

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