Sunday, December 14, 2014

CATastrophes And Cereal Killers

I had a few minutes Friday afternoon to sit with my feet up before going to my side gig, helping with a photography business, and thought I'd make some notes for this weekend's Ten Things of Thankful post. I fixed myself a bowl of cereal and sat down in my chair-and-a-half (a/k/a my office). I held the bowl up under my chin as I took each bite, so I didn't drip any milk on my never-been-worn-before black and cream infinity scarf. Fletcher (the family Eeyore) jumped onto the arm of my chair (he is a great lover of cereal AND cereal milk). I ignored him and his sorrowful eyes, lifting the bowl to my chin for another bite, when out of NOWHERE, Fletcher head butted my bowl, sending milk and cereal all over my me, from my chin down. Milk was dripping from my face, running off my scarf and puddling onto the chair. I ran to the bathroom, pieces of cereal falling off of me as I went. My scarf had pieces of cereal in all the folds, some of which transferred to my hair when I lifted the scarf over my head. There was not only cereal down the front of my fleece jacket, but also inside it, and my shirt was wet, too.  All of this led to me calling him Asshole all weekend, and it also led to me not getting my post written until now. The little asshole is on my lap now, his butt on the mousepad, his front half pinning down my left arm, my right arm bent around his back end in order to reach the keyboard. Bear with me. Here's the list:

1. My College Boy is home for a whole month! 

2. I finally got the Christmas tree decorated. The lighted tree had been up, but undecorated, for over a week, as (a) I hadn't had a block of time large enough to use for decorating the tree without cutting severely into my beauty rest; (b) the Little Red Hen couldn't get anyone else in the house interested in helping, anyway; and (c) it was a test to see if Ruby would try to climb the tree this year, given last year's fiasco. Since the tree was still standing, I took the window of opportunity I had and got the ornaments on.

3. The College Boy helped me with some of the decorating, making sure to hang any ornaments made by, or given to, his sister on the back of the tree. (She could have done likewise to him, rather than lying on the couch two feet away from us, watching Grey's Anatomy on Netflix.)

4. Ruby did, indeed, try to climb the tree, making ingress from the windowsill rather than climbing up the trunk (center pole, really, given that it's an artificial tree). My son reached inside and pulled her back out the way she went in, and thus far, it's the only time she's tried it THAT WE KNOW ABOUT.


This year, tunneling in through the side of the tree.



Last year.

5. The preschool Christmas program was this week. The kids did a beautiful job, plus no one peed, pooped, cried or threw up on stage.

6. Pinterest win! We made Christmas trees out of fingerprints and they turned out really cute. We will laminate them and make them our placemats for our Christmas party next week.


7. Pinterest win #2! Instead of making a pan of cinnamon rolls, I used a pie pan and made one giant cinnamon roll that loosely filled the pan. After it had risen and been baked (and frosted), I had a most delicious cinnamon roll cake. I wish I had taken a picture of it, because it was GORGEOUS. You can see my inspiration for this here, at Sally's Baking Addiction.

8. Okay, so I was carrying a gallon sized ziploc bag of beads (each one the size of a small pea) down the hall from my primary classroom to my pre-k classroom, along with an armload of books and papers. I was about six feet from the (closed) door when the bag of beads slithered over my arm and all the beads spilled out. On the tile floor. Did I mention it was a gallon sized bag? And did you know that beads bounce? Imagine hundreds of beads, each of them ping, ping, pinging across the floor. It was enough to cause our music teacher to come up the stairs and the church secretary to come out of her office to see what kind of holy hell on earth was occurring. I just stood there and laughed, because what else are you going to do? I'm very grateful Miss Ruth and Miss Vanesssa came to my rescue, because between the three of us, we got most of them picked up. I suspect we will be finding beads for years, as they went under every door within about a six foot radius, including a furnace closet, two bathrooms, and two classrooms. The only reason they didn't rain down the stairs was the fact that there was a rug at the top of the stairs that caught a few hundred beads before they had a chance to make a break for it. 

9. I saw a car with antlers and a Rudolph nose this morning, and as stupid as it is, it still made me laugh.




10. My dad's 80th birthday was yesterday. Happy birthday, Daddy!




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30 comments:

  1. you know.... living tree ornaments! what a great idea!

    liked the beads...children of the children that day may very well pass on the legend (if you find a bead on that floor you skip 3 classes without repercussion!)

    (at least that's the legend I would start if I worked at your school)

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Living tree ornament = very bad idea.
      There are a mess of beads inside an icky janitor's closet next to my room. They are caught in some old dust moats and will likely be there until the building is torn down.

      Delete
  2. Love the picture of your dad!

    Also I have an asshole cat that behaves remarkable similar. I have also typed with him holding down one arm as well. I even posted on Instagram for photographical proof!

    Great list and such a cute idea with the fingerprints!

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Isn't that the cutest picture?!
      Usually, he's the good cat. Other than his insistence at lying across my arms when I want to type, that is.
      Love using fingerprints, handprints, footprints for art projects!

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  3. Happy birthday to your daddy as well!! I hope he got to celebrate big time! I now really want the Rudolph-costume for our car.. The girls would LOVE it! Enjoy having the lad at home! I'm glad you had help picking up all those beads, and please let me know whenever you find one you missed.. We had a friend who found a popped balloon in his car a year after it had been lovingly decorated by a bunch of well-meaning (and drunk) friends at his wedding :-)

    Have a wonderful week, Dyanne, and have fun with the kids and the cats ;-)

    ReplyDelete
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    1. My dad is so low-key, I don't think he gave his birthday much of a thought.
      I'm VERY grateful to have had help picking up those beads! I can't imagine the sound if they had fallen down the stairs (they missed them by less than a foot).

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  4. Awwwh Happy Birthday, Mr Dyanne Sr. Those cowboy boots are ADORABLE :D Love them.

    Your bead story sounds like a NIGHTMARE, but the funny kind. I guess you'll remember this Christmas every time you find a bead from now on. That's a whole lorra beads! Thank goodness you had help.

    Fletch IS an asshole. Is your scarf ok?

    ReplyDelete
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    1. There's just something about little boys and cowboy boots that is stinkin' cute.
      Total nightmare. Beads everywhere!
      The scarf made it just fine!

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  5. Happy birthday to your dad. That photo is wonderful!
    Oh, your job sounds so fun! Well, maybe not chasing the bats, but I love reading about your preschool adventures. I can just imagine all those beads bouncing all over the place!

    ReplyDelete
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    1. My grandmother wasn't sentimental about anything, so I'm lucky to have that picture!
      Bat Patrol is never fun, even if it is exciting. I'm glad the bead fiasco happened after the kids were gone, or I would NEVER have gotten them settled down!

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  6. Awwww, cute picture of your dad. I love those oldies. I think I'd love to have my college boy home for one month. Well, if my boy were still in college. That doesn't happen in our world these days cuz my boy is 31 and travels all over the place. I can see you treasure this--and do, because it may end someday. :-( Loved #5. Gotta be grateful for every single one of those!! and #9, I just saw one of those decorated cars this evening myself. Amazing! Happy holidays.

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Halfway through the month my son is home, and he and his sister are squabbling so much, I'm about ready to send him back!
      #5 is worth 10 things of thankful in that one.

      Delete
  7. Oh, those beads. Never a dull moment around your house. I know how delighted you must be that your son is home for a whole month. When you made those cinnamon rolls, did you use the ones from the tube and just fill up the pie plate? It sounds like a winner for Christmas morning. My son drives around with reindeer antlers on his car. And because it's him, I think it's cute. Happy Birthday to your Dad. May he have many more healthful years. Merry Christmas, Dyanne. Have fun with the family.

    ReplyDelete
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    1. I made homemade cinnamon roll dough. It's easier to make individual cinnamon rolls, but the end result of the giant one is sooo much better!
      I think it's cute that your son has reindeer antlers on his car!

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  8. Happy birthday to your Dad!
    OK, a year ago the bead thing would have put me on my ass on the floor crying. This year? I think I'd be on my ass on the floor from laughing so hard. It's amazing how a change in life situation can change your whole perspective. That said, I am SO ready for Christmas - I am having a wonderful time and I can't remember the last time that was really true.
    The Hub's favorite word around here is CATastrophe...and with these three boys, we find use for it often. I am glad that none of them has ever expressed much interest in the tree, however, other than to sleep underneath it and gnaw on a lower branch or two.
    Enjoy having that college boy home!

    ReplyDelete
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    1. It's a fine line between laughing and crying sometimes, isn't it?
      WHY DO CATS CHEW ON ARTIFICIAL TREES?

      Delete
  9. Reasons #36 and #37 why we don't have cats.
    Your bead fiasco reminds me of when I dropped a 48 oz. bag of peanut M&Ms. My kids came running from all over the house. Difference is, my kid knew by the sound they were M&Ms, and they were coming to help clean by eating them all.
    Cute tree craft!

    ReplyDelete
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    1. I still can't believe Fletcher headbutted my bowl of cereal like that. After all I've done for him!
      I would have been upset if I had dropped a 48 oz bag of M&Ms on THAT floor. It was not clean.
      I loved the tree craft!

      Delete
  10. Oh my goodness, I can imagine the mess, and I am so glad I wasn't there. Love that pic of your Daddy! So cute!

    ReplyDelete
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    1. I tried sweeping some of the beads, but I had to throw them away, because there was so much dust and stuff with them. Couldn't stand the thought of cleaning them all off.
      I love that pic of my daddy, too :)

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  11. happy birthday to your daddy! aw, how sweet.

    I am so jealous of your kitty situation I can't even stand it. KITTTYYYYY. Damn. I needs one, bad.

    That fingerprint tree is just about the cutest thing evah!

    yay for college boy being home....sweet.

    Happy holidays, Dyanne. xo

    ReplyDelete
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    1. I need to post pictures of my dad, my brother and my son, all from that same age. I had never noticed before how much they look alike.
      Do I need to mail you a kitty?

      Delete
  12. LOL I feel your pain about Fletcher. Felines can be so....deliberately disruptive. And the worst thing is you never get to catch them laughing at you! In the old days,and almost always at night, if I hadn't paid enough attention to Madeline (feline #1) she would take her paw and proceed to knock things off of my dresser. One at a time. And stare at me defiantly each time the item hit the floor. lol
    No doubt Ruby's intentions are honorable. It's her job to chase birds and squirrels and such. She figures if she's already in the tree, she'll have a better chance of chasing them away... Or maybe she's just a troublemaker!

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    1. I don't believe for a minute that Fletcher's headbutt wasn't intended to cause mayhem. My cat Helen was like your Madeline. And Ruby is absolutely a troublemaker!

      Delete
  13. I clicked on that cinnamon roll link and got lost down the recipe rabbit hole so now I may actually attempt to make some. Maybe. Happy birthday to your dad!

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Did you make the cinnamon roll? Did you? Did you?

      Delete
  14. #9 is hilarious.
    I hope this week will be without any CATastrophes.

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Do Japanese people ever put antlers and Rudolph noses on their cars?
      I hope you're right about the CATastrophes!

      Delete
  15. Hooray for pinterest wins! The cars with the reindeer antlers make me laugh too. Enjoy your son being home.

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    1. Pinterest wins are awesome, since so much of the time, Pinterest is just fiction reading, as far as I'm concerned!

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