It is very poor planning to run out of milk the day a major winter storm is expected to hit (actually, mere HOURS from when it is to hit), forcing a trip to Walmart with all the other crazies out buying their snow groceries.
The only saving grace to the trip to Walmart on the day a major winter storm is expected to hit is seeing one of the local tv weathermen exiting the store (in sunglasses, no less, and it was gloomy as a tomb outside) with a grocery cart heaped with milk, bread, and other essentials, leading me to believe that HE DOESN'T LISTEN TO HIS OWN FORECASTS.
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| Ruby watching the snow fall. |
When I see recipes for paleo diets, it just makes me laugh. Paleo muffins? How about paleo apple cider donuts? Paleo peach coconut smoothie? Because, and correct me if I'm wrong, wouldn't Paleolithic man have eaten some plants and small animals (raw, of course, guts, feathers, and all) and insects? I'm pretty sure there were no muffins being cooked there in the cave.
You ever see those banana hangers in the store? It's supposed to keep your bananas fresher longer if you hang them rather than let them lie on the counter or in a bowl (which means bruises are actually the bedsores of the banana). Let me save you the trouble - don't get one. Your husband will take one look at it and laugh at you, and they don't make the bananas last a bit longer.
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| Banana hanger, not to be confused with a banana hammock |
When the car is making a funny noise, just turn up the radio and - voila! - noise gone. But when the heater doesn't work in your car, you can turn the radio up as loudly as you want, and you're still just going to be cold.
If you listened very carefully, you could actually hear the temperature dropping outside yesterday.
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The jar of ground ginger and the one of cumin look very similar, but I don't recommend getting them confused.
I found a grocery list on my phone that only had Laffy Taffy, root beer and kitten food on it. I was unaware that I smoked crack and made grocery lists, but this proves otherwise.
You know those pony tail holders that aren't supposed to leave a crease in your hair? Lies.
I've gotta bust outta this joint soon....
I went for a haircut on Saturday and the hairdresser told me that having to wear a ponytail and hairnet all day every day was suffocating my hair.
ReplyDeleteShe also straitened it which I never have the skill or patience or a hot enough flat iron to do myself. It's the first time in years I actually walked around with two day hair. It's now back to it's normal wavy mess.
I think straightening irons were one of the world's best inventions. This is what you need, the BaByliss PRO Nano Titanium. It is worth every penny. Spray your hair with Redken Hot Sets 22 before using the straightening iron on it. I have really thick, curly hair, and this combination makes it smooooooth and straight. Unless there is really high humidity, then forget it, I have to wear it curly.
DeleteI too have been tricked by the lie of the pony tail holder that leaves no mark! And if you like, we can switch places and you can hang out in my cubicle tomorrow :)
ReplyDeleteThink how many of those pony tail holders have been sold on the strength of a big fat lie.
DeleteAnd I'd love to hang out in your cubicle tomorrow, if only I could get out my driveway!
Oh my word, I love it when you are in one of your rambling moods! My husband, who is half lying on me and preventing me from typing comfortably, woke and mumbled "Huh?" when I laughed out loud. I tried to hold it in, and did a good job through the banana hammock, but the crack-smoking and grocery-list making sent me over the edge.
ReplyDeleteI'm with you. I love being at home in my pajamas, but this many days in a row is getting a bit too much even for me. Of course, by Friday, when the kids have been back to school for two days, I'll be wanting my PJs back.
Wouldn't I remember a time when I needed Laffy Taffy, root beer and kitten food? And who ever needs Laffy Taffy anyway?
DeleteI put on real clothes today. It felt kind of good.
Why would you put on real clothes?
DeleteReal clothes made me feel less like a nursing home patient.
DeleteDid I mention that the banana hanger tips over easily, too?
ReplyDeleteWow Dyanne! You fix your car the same way I do. If I can't hear it, then it must be ok. I am sure you still fit through the door.
ReplyDeleteBTW, I used to have one of those banana things and finally threw it out as I was the only one who used it.
The banana thing is better in theory than in practice.
DeleteOh my goodness! I cannot stop laughing! So, this is what cabin fever is like? If I were a totally selfish person I would wish more bad weather on you so you could go a little crazier and ramble some more. But I'm not selfish so I hope you bust outta Shawshank soon.....
ReplyDeleteI'm making a shiv, hoping for tomorrow.
DeleteI don't know. I kind of think you should hole up inside more often. You have some gems on here. From now on, I shall use the term 'banana bedsores' and think of you.
ReplyDelete"I was unaware that I smoked crack and made grocery lists, but this proves otherwise."
ReplyDeleteI have not laughed out loud that hard in forever. Thank you! :)