Stable: A Six Sentence Story

I was sitting in my room in my big, comfy chair, working on this week's Six Sentence Story (a tale about Joseph and Mary being told the only place to stay was the stable, and let me tell you, Mary was NOT happy), when there was a tremendous crash from downstairs.

"Those kittens are HORRIBLE," my husband said from across the room as I got up to see what they possibly could have done to make that big of a noise; Nora Pearl, formerly Dammit Nora until the addition of two VERY BAD kittens to our family, making anything she did in the past look amateurish, followed me downstairs.

Finn and Lewis were innocently lying on the floor just inside the living room; I didn't buy their act for a second as I walked into the room and found what appeared to be a magic trick gone horribly wrong. Where there was once an antique walnut table draped with a lace table cloth and with three framed photographs on it, along with an Easter snowglobe and a stone rabbit, there was now a completely bare table. The table cloth was on the arm of the couch next to it, the snowglobe was on its side on the floor, the globe broken and glycerin water, glitter, and glass shards strewn about the wood floor, and the photographs were on the floor, one of them with shattered glass; the stone rabbit sat on the floor, unscathed, and said nothing.

"DAMMIT, YOU TWO!" I yelled as I began the clean up process, wiping up the water, picking up shards of glass, vacuuming the glitter, checking the photos for damage, repeatedly removing all three cats from the scene of the crime, Finn and Lewis looking SHOCKED and AMAZED at the devastation; but innocent though they tried to be, the rabbit and I exchanged glances and Nora looked smug: we all knew the truth, and that was that these kittens are not only lousy magicians, they are the NAUGHTIEST CATS I'VE EVER OWNED IN MY LIIIIIIIFE!!!

Bare naked table. Not supposed to be that way.

Dead snowglobe. Can you SEE all
the glitter on the floor?

Under the table. At least the floor
lamp remained upright.

THAT'S MY PICTURRRRRRE!
THE ONE WHO FEEDS THEM, THE
ONE WHO SCOOPS THEIR LITTER BOX,
THE ONE WHO SEES TO THEIR EVERY NEEEEED!

Finn surveying the damage, like he's
NEVER SEEN IT BEFORE. That piece of lace
is the tablecloth. Yes, that's exactly where
I found it. I wasn't wrong about the magic trick....

Lewis pretending to be worried.

Table put back, EMPTY this time,
while Nora and Lewis inspect my
clean-up job.

Linking up with Denise at Girlie On The Edge's Blog for Six Sentence Stories with the prompt "stable"

Sinks Are Not Just For Washing And Other Thankfuls

I gave myself a week off from the Ten Things of Thankful last weekend, not because there was nothing to be thankful for, because we know there always is, but because I was just plain ol' lazy. So there. I threw my own self under the bus.

Here's this week's list:

1. Fresh, clean sheets on the bed. 

2. Having help putting the fresh, clean sheets on the bed from not one, not two, but three cats. Why not take a five minute process and turn it into twenty minutes of cats under the sheets, cats over the sheets, one under and one over, wrestling with each other, all three between the mattress and the fitted sheet? It's FUN....

3. Dual uses for sinks.

Nora Pearl

Finn

4. Seeing my preschoolers outside of preschool. Saturday, as part of my other gig at the photo studio, I was working at a girls' softball league photo shoot. One of my favorite preschoolers was there with his older sister, and the look on his face when he saw me was priceless! 

5. Seeing former preschoolers anywhere and getting hugs. At the same photo shoot, I saw over half a dozen former preschoolers, ranging in age from 5 to 15. I so love watching them grow up!

6. I found a necklace I have been looking for for AGES. It was a single pearl on a gold chain. The pearl came from a pin and earring set my grandpa brought back to my mom from Japan in the 1950s. My mom never really cared for it, but she kept it tucked away in her jewelry box, and when I was in college, she had the pearls from the pin made into some other jewelry. She gave me this necklace and a pair of pearl stud earrings made from the original pin set, and somehow, I've managed to keep track of them ever since. That is, I kept track of them until I let my daughter wear the necklace for something (it's been so long ago I don't even remember what it was. Prom, maybe? Two years ago?!). I was trying to straighten up her room (a futile attempt) and glanced at her dresser and there, in a plastic shoe box with a bunch of bracelets, hair ties, and other jewelry, WAS MY PEARL NECKLACE! I am THRILLED!

7. I also found a t-shirt in my daughter's room that I didn't even realize I was missing until I found it wadded up on the floor. 

8. And a gold bracelet that has been missing since high school days. Every time I would ask for it, she would say something vague about it being in her backpack yet never produced it. I was checking the pockets of purses I was picking up off the floor and putting away, throwing out trash and hoping to find money (I didn't), and inside one of them was the bracelet. You may now see why we have always said she was part raccoon....

9. Really good doughnuts.

10. Sleeping with the windows open. Our window of opportunity (no pun intended) for this is very small. We go from spring to full on, hot, humid summer by the first of June, and it lasts until late September, but while it lasts, open window weather is a delight!

In everything, give thanks.

K is for Kitty Hammock

When my daughter was in kindergarten, she had an assignment in her gifted class to identify a problem and create an invention to solve the problem. Her problem was our then-young cat Fletcher would play with her feet when she was in bed trying to go to sleep, so she invented a Kitty Fun Bed for him. She used a box and made a canopy over the top and hung toys inside, and he did actually use it for awhile.

Currently, I am watching Nora and Pete sleep on my bed. They are taking up my entire side of the bed, and when I go to bed myself, they will begrudgingly move SLIGHTLY to let me in, but the reality is that my husband will take up his side of the bed and infringe somewhat on mine, the two cats will be on my side of the bed, and I will be squeezed into a pretzel shape, filling in the little spaces between them all. (Pete did used to sleep in a cat bed we had, but he got so fat that he broke it - yes, BROKE it - stretching the foam inside until it cracked apart.) 

Maybe Pete and Nora (and my husband, if he doesn't GET THE HELL ON HIS OWN SIDE OF THE DAMN BED) would like their very own bunk bed! Problem? Solution!

https://www.onegoodthingbyjillee.com/2015/07
/make-a-simple-diy-cat-hammock.html?

Instead of trying to hunt down a box big enough to accommodate Pete's 20 pounds (yeah, you think THAT'S big; he's lost 7 pounds since fall), I bought a box at Walmart in the office supplies section. It was about $1.50 and totally worth it. I also needed a piece of fleece slightly larger than the box for the hammock. Here's something you should know if you're ever in the market for a piece of fleece and you don't much care what it looks like: Walmart sells 60" wide fleece by the yard for $4.00 a yard. They sell fleece blankets that measure 50" x 60" for $2.50. You do the math. 

I taped the box together as securely and as plumb as I could get it, then measured and marked the four sides to make the corner posts. I used a utility knife to cut the middle sections out of the box and had a flashback to high school and Joey Birchard using one to cut cardboard during set construction for a school play and plunging the blade into his arm (holla if you were there). I cut without mishap and only missed the line I was following in a couple of places, but I was able to (mostly) fix THAT with this gizmo my dad got me (good for trimming cardboard AND scalping dolls).

Carefully...carefully....

I don't know what this thing is called,
but you should get one. It comes with
all kinds of different blades and stuff.

It honestly took me longer to cut the piece of fleece than it did the cardboard box, mostly because I was too lazy to carry the fleece upstairs out of the basement where I could lay it out neatly and use a yardstick for a guide. I also got a lot of unsolicited help with the fleece from Nora.

Can't imagine why I had trouble
measuring the fleece. Hmmm.

Pete had to come down and investigate.
He's too lazy to get involved and
too fat to jump up on the workbench.

Next, I measured for the holes where the hammock would be attached and made the holes with a drill. For the record, I have had that drill, a Skil, since shortly after I graduated from college. My dad gave it to me, along with a huge set of drill bits that he couldn't sell at his hardware and farm supply store because someone had nicked a couple of them. My husband may actually have married me for that drill.

Never underestimate a girl with a drill.

The hammock was made with a piece of the fleece cut four inches larger than the box bottom. A slit was cut into each corner of the fleece, and each side of a slit was poked through a hole in a corner post and tied with a knot.

It was a tasty knot...

I put the extra fleece in the bottom of the box for bed #2 and carried it upstairs for the big reveal.

Pete laid on the bed and ignored me and the new Kitty Fun Bed, but Nora, who had been heavily involved with the construction, came right over to check it out, because SHE HAD NEVER SEEN IT BEFORE. After she gave it a look-see (and it looked JUST LIKE IT DID when she was messing with it in the basement less than five minutes earlier), I picked her up and pushed her into the hammock.

She jumped out like it was burning lava.

I put her back in, she jumped back out.

She moves fast.

Then I tried to put her back in, but she kept ending up in the BOTTOM bunk, as if there were a hole in the hammock, but as I was struggling with her and trying to hold onto my phone to get a picture (and my husband sat in his chair and watched and did NOTHING to help me), I realized she was tucking her head and curling up like a roly poly bug just as I would try to push her onto the bunk. Tuck and roll, personified (or catified, as it were).

Then, miracle of miracles, I shoved her in there one last time AND SHE STAYED. 

Isn't she the cutest?

Pinterest win here, even if she never gets in it again!

Killing Some Time

Just because I haven't been blogging (or FINISHING blogging; case in point, this post), doesn't mean I haven't been DOING things that may or may not be blog-worthy (case in point, this post...).  

In January, the College Boy and I went on a couple of adventures (I do love an adventure). First, we went to Oklahoma City. It was cold. And windy (it's always windy in Oklahoma - you know the song, "Ooooooklahoma where the wind comes sweepin' down the plain" and they ain't a-kiddin'). I had several hours to kill while College Boy was at his appointment, I didn't want to hang out at a mall, so I went to the zoo. 

A week later, we made a little trip to Omaha. In January. When a massive ice storm was predicted, as in wild-eyed meteorologists speaking of power outages and impassible roads across the entire mid-section of the country. He needed to be in Omaha on a Saturday morning, and we planned to drive up the Friday afternoon before and return home on Sunday. Then Icemageddon 2017 was forecast and our plans had to change (and no, we could not change the appointment and yes, I will explain why at a later date - be patient). I had already made arrangements to rent a car that got better gas mileage than my Sequoia (there's a reason it's named after a tree), and man, I was ready! I had that little car stuffed to the gills with sleeping bags, water, healthy snacks (plus M&Ms, because, come on), blankets, a bag of kitty litter (for traction), ice scrapers, heavy coats and boots, plus our luggage for a three day trip. 

(Interesting factoid: the College Boy was not allowed to drive the rental car, because you must be 25 years old to do so. Kid you not. He can vote. He can go to war. He can drink legally. He can BUY a car. He cannot, however, RENT a car. Go figure.)

We hit the road and got to Omaha late Thursday night. The College Boy's appointment wasn't until Saturday morning. Do you know what you do when you have a whole day to kill in Omaha in January? You guessed it - we went to the zoo.

Omaha has an AH-MAZ-ING zoo - the Henry Doorly Zoo, and if you ever have a reason to go to Omaha, you MUST pay it a visit. We visited it about 8 years ago on a trip to Colorado (and if you want to take a minute a look at a map to see how very NOT on the way that is from Southwest Missouri, you will see why you should make an effort to go there if you ever get a chance).

I had never been to a zoo in the winter before (and now have been to two within a week), and I will tell you that you will pretty much have the place to yourself when it's 22 degrees with a windchill of 14 degrees, but here's a few things I learned from my two zoo trips:

Zoos smell much better in the winter than in the summer.

College Boy HAAAATES getting his picture taken,
selfie or otherwise. Especially selfie.

I understand animals like elephants and lions and giraffes being taken off exhibit and put somewhere warm during the winter, but that pansy ass grizzly bear had absolutely no excuse.

You see a grizzly? No, no, you don't.

I have always been more concerned with wearing a cute coat than in being warm, and now that I have bought the warmest coat I have ever owned, I see just how really stupid that line of reasoning has been. Bonus: the coat is cute.

Some animals are cute and some are ugly and some are fierce and some look like a cartoon illustration.

Cute

Not exactly cute.

Fierce. Him, not me.

Cartoonish?

Cats are cats. Some will kill you and eat you, but all of them like nothing better than sitting in a box.

Giraffes deserve their own door.

Look closely. People door on left, giraffe door on the right.

Shhh! They're still getting used to their indoor digs.

I can't speak for all baboons, but I'm pretty darn attractive to one of them.

Parts of him showed his love for me more
than other parts....

The look of love.

Henry Doorly Zoo is known for their gorillas. Here's one now.

College Boy: But what if I drop my cellphone? Then what?

Gotta be a ninja to take a picture of him.

And the ice storm of the century? Didn't happen, or at least not where it was predicted. We made it home with nary a drop of freezing rain. Ate all the M&Ms and most of the healthy snacks on the drive home. And my favorite zoo animal was waiting for me when I got home.

My Nora Pearl loves me more
than that baboon ever could.

Halloween Is Over And Other Thankfuls

I would like to start a movement to make Halloween and the day after a national holiday. Our school district does realize that trying to have real class on Halloween is an exercise in futility, so the kids only go half a day and have parties, with the other half for teacher in-service. We held our parties at preschool the week before, since Halloween was on Monday this year, so Halloween was just another day at preschool for us, except for the fact that it was HALLOWEEN and the kids were WOUND. UP. Then the next day? November 1? Don't even get me started on how kids are the day AFTER Halloween. I guess that will lead me to my Ten Things of Thankful rather nicely.

1. Preschool is only half a day.

2. We had amazing weather for Halloween. It was warm and clear. That is a thankful for those who trick or treat, not particularly for me, as our neighborhood is the "cool" place to go trick or treating and the warm weather brought them out in DROVES. We had 970 trick or treaters that night. Yes, you read that right. 970.

3. I told my husband I wasn't going to participate in Halloween next year. We spend a small fortune on candy and it stresses me out to have so many people crowding around me (we sit outside on our front steps and hand out candy, and there will be a line of 20-30 people on our sidewalk waiting to come up). Next year, I said, we're either going to be gone or we're going to hide inside. Then former preschoolers come to my house to trick or treat, just so they can see me, and I realize I'm not going to be hiding in the house next year.

4. I bought candy I don't really like, so I wasn't tempted to eat any much of it.

5. Tub Ball lives on! One day a year or two ago, my son tossed a bouncy ball into the (empty) jacuzzi tub, Ruby chased it, and a new game was born. Ruby entertained herself by endlessly chasing that ball around the tub, and when the plastic cup I use to rinse the tub out got knocked into the tub, she added that to the game, knocking the ball into the cup and fishing it out again. When Ruby died, I set the bouncy ball on the side of the tub by the cup and never touched it again. Then last week, Nora was bouncing around and annoying Fletcher, so I got the ball, bounced it into the tub, and she was hooked. The downside to tub ball is that it is NOISY, but it's a noise I can live with.

6. We have a barred owl hanging around outside at night. This one isn't saying "Who cooks for you" but is making a different sound. I looked it up and it's still a barred owl. Wish I could see it, but, you know, night.

7. Nora not only went to the vet for her third set of kitten vaccinations, but she also made "Patient of the Day" on the vet's Facebook page! She's a star! She's now 3 lbs. 12 oz., and will get her kitty maker and front claws removed (don't talk to me about this if you are against it - I don't want to argue the point with you any more than I want to argue with some one about why the HELL they would seriously vote for Trump) in a few weeks. The fleas are better, but I'll be damned if I didn't pull her out of her carrier and find one peeking out from right between her eyes. 

8. Emma was scheduled to take the SAT yesterday at a little college in my hometown, an hour away from here. We went up Friday evening and stayed with my dad. I had planned to take ingredients up there to make us dinner with enough for him to have leftovers for a few meals, but he insisted he wanted to cook for us, so we let him. He has taught himself to make a roast and potatoes in the fancy non-stick pan he bought himself at Bed, Bath & Beyond, and by golly, he's got it down! He's really doing well since my mom passed away in July. I'm very proud of how he's learned how to be domestic, and I will never, ever turn down his offer of fixing me roast beef and potatoes!

Nora making herself comfortable
in my dad's lap.

Yes, that's a grape. Yes, she got it out
of a bowl on the kitchen table. Yes, my
dad not only watched her do it but
also encouraged her.

9. While Emma was taking the SAT, my dad and I went up to the Methodist Church for their annual soup and pie lunch. You get to pick your own dessert (homemade pies of every kind) and they bring you a big bowl of vegetable soup that is ALMOST as good as the vegetable soup my mom used to make. They have a Christmas bazaar as well, although we didn't go through that. My mom never missed a year going to this event, meeting her friends up there and browsing at the bazaar before eating, and I attended it many times with her. It made me miss her a lot, but it was nice to transition it into something my dad and I could do together. And we both picked coconut cream and it was excellent.

10. I voted early! My husband has to be out of town on Tuesday, and he found out he could go to the courthouse and vote absentee, so I did the same, as I have a very small window of opportunity within which to vote on Tuesday, and there was no way I was going to miss my chance to vote in this election.

How about you? Thankful for anything this week? How about the return to Standard Time? Fer it or agin it? (I'm fer it myself - I hate it when it's dark in the morning when I have to get up.) Link up with us. You still have HOURS to write a post and join us!

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 Your hosts

A Fly on our (Chicken Coop) Wall, Amycake and the Dude, Considerings, Finding Ninee, Getting Literal, I Want Backsies, The Meaning of Me, Thankful Me, Uncharted, The Wakefield Doctrine

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Well, I'm Not Thankful For Fleas

This week went by like a freight train. Or make that a coal train. The coal train goes through here loaded when it's heading south, empty for the return trip up north somewhere. Without fail, when the coal train passes, I sing this line from the John Prine song Paradise:

Daddy, won't you take me back

To Muhlenberg County

Down by the Green River

Where paradise lay?

Well, I'm sorry, my son

But you're too late in askin'

Mr. Peabody's coal train

Has hauled it away

Every time. Never gets old. Well, not to me. It does to anyone in the car with me, especially since the railroad track goes diagonally across the entire town, and you stand a pretty good chance of running into that train four or five times if you're headed across town as it goes through. 

Sooo, Ten Things of Thankful? Coming right up!

1. The week went by fast.

2. Pumpkin Parties were this week at preschool, which is why #1 is #1.

3. The preschool staff Halloween costume theme this year was Nursery Rhymes, so we were Three Blind Mice in my room. Best. Costume. Ever. Assistant teacher Janet's husband made us canes out of dollar store mop handles, we wore gray shirts and leggings, mouse ears, a tail and sunglasses. I had a terrific time being a blind mouse. Ask anyone.

4. Little Debbie Devil Creme cakes. I used to think Swiss Rolls were my favorite, but I'm pretty sure they just fell to second place after experiencing a Devil Creme cake (and a half) at Thursday's Pumpkin Party.

5. I wrote a post this week! And it felt good. It's been a long time. Too long. 

6. My sweet high school friend Ruth even commented on Facebook when I posted the link to my blog post that she had missed my writing. Ruth always knows the right thing to say. Always.

7. I'd make this thankful that I haven't seen a live flea in 24 hours, but I don't want to jinx it. Pretend I didn't say it.

8. This is pretty big, I think. Emma was officially accepted at the University of Arkansas. We have a Razorback in the house!

9. DAMMIT. Just found a live flea on Nora. This is NOT a thankful. I REPEAT. THIS IS NOT THANKFUL. 

10. I bought Halloween candy that I don't like, so no worries that I'll eat half of it before Monday night.

Find your thankfuls and link up with us! May yours be flea-less.

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 Your hosts

A Fly on our (Chicken Coop) Wall, Amycake and the Dude, Considerings, Finding Ninee, Getting Literal, I Want Backsies, The Meaning of Me, Thankful Me, Uncharted, The Wakefield Doctrine

An InLinkz Link-up