Thursday, September 1, 2016

Block: A Six Sentence Story




I had intended to have a leisurely bubble bath, soaking in warm water, scrolling through Pinterest on my phone, before going to bed, because who doesn't sleep better after a long, soaky bubblebath? I ran water in my large Jacuzzi-style tub, adding plenty of bubblebath, and when the tub was full and frothy, I climbed in and leaned back onto my bath pillow, not realizing until I got myself completely settled that the water was hotter than was really comfortable, and while any ordinary person would sit up and run some cold water into the tub to bring the temperature down from poach to slight simmer, my stomach muscles won't allow me to do that since my reconstruction surgery from bilateral mastectomy four years ago; instead, I laid there, sweating and scrolling through my phone, even dozing off a few times, until I reached the hard-boiled point and decided to get out.

Since I can't sit up, the only way I can get myself out of the tub (short of using a wrecker) is to roll over on my side and get up on my hands and knees, at which time I can stand up, towel off, and step out of the tub. Maybe it was the extra bath bubble solution that I put in to ensure an extra-sudsy experience, but this time, THIS time, something went terribly wrong, and the second I rolled over onto my right side to begin the launch process, I flipped like a turtle onto my left hip, my back against the outer edge of the tub, and torpedoed around the periphery of the tub, continuing until I had made it three-quarters of the way around the and stopping only when I whacked the back of my head on the faucet. And I didn't hit the hard part of my head, but instead made contact with the faucet with the soft part, just above the nape of my neck, the part that seems to be unprotected by skull and vulnerable to brain injury (or at least a whopper of a headache) when it thwacks into something hard and stationary, such as a faucet. Had the faucet not blocked my forward momentum, I fear I would have been a living example of Newton's First Law of Motion, spiraling around and around the tub into eternity, or until someone in my household, be they either two- or four-footed, needed to be fed.

Death spiral began at green arrow, ending
abruptly at faucet (that's a faucet the red arrow
is pointing to, not an elephant or worse).


Linking up with Ivy at Uncharted for Six Sentence Stories with the prompt "block."

20 comments:

  1. OMG! Are you okay? Is linking up to sss sign of a brain injury?! Im so happy to see you here! Even if it is a sign of brain damage.

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    1. Probably brain damaged. No bone to protect my poor brain.

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  2. It's showers only for me as the thought of me never being able to extract myself from a bath fills me with dread. I do hope you are exaggerating for artistic license!

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    1. I wish I were exaggerating! I have no explanation for how it went down, because it happened REALLY FAST!

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  3. hope all is well and you are not hurt badly ( head injuries scare me) - a sudsy hot bath sounds divine ( i myself like it hot) - however i do not have the patient to seat for a luscious moment or two; i'm two too antsy...although it is a a lovely story i hope it was a bit exaggerated for the story's sake...

    do you need to be bubble wrapped?

    :)

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    1. True story! My head was tender for a few days, but I think I have fully recovered. I can't just lie there, either, which is why I bring my phone in with me and have a tv!

      Maybe I need a helmet?

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  4. Bathing is supposed to be an event, it isn't supposed to be an adventure in pain! Sorry that happened, and i hope the headache went away quickly and no harm done.

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    1. Exactly! It went wrong on so many levels! I seem to have fully recovered, although I'm a little nervous for next time I'm in there....

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  5. Replies
    1. At least I wasn't standing when I fell. Going from the process of getting onto my knees to flipping over didn't hurt; it only hurt when I stopped sliding!

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  6. lol (no! I'm laughing with you not at you!

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  7. I am so glad that you are okay. That sounds incredibly stressful which is definitely not what a bubble bath should be.

    WeekendsInMaine

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    1. Maybe I would have fallen over anyway, but at least I could have gone ahead and added cold water to the tub BEFORE that happened; I would have had half a good bath experience that way!

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  8. Holy crap! Are you OK??? Truly, you can't make up shit this good.

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    1. When you are a natural-born klutz, you don't need to make shit up! I'm alive and well now!

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  9. OMG! I can picture this all too well! My slippery tub/shower scares me, despite grip strips on the bottom and hand rails on the walls. My sister once slipped coming out of a shower and gave herself a concussion. It sounds like you ended up with a whopper headache too. The funny part of this tale is your diagram... and your caption beneath! :-)

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    1. The bottom of the tub has tiny bumps, but they are smooth and shiny and do nothing to give traction, as evidenced by my story! I'm really careful when I'm stepping out and have one foot on that surface while I'm throwing the other over the side of the tub (and it's a really high side, since it's a jacuzzi tub), but I never thought I'd wipe out like I did!
      Thank you for the compliment on my diagram! It took me longer to draw it than to write the post. The drawing site I found ate my picture three times, and no matter how much I tried to prevent it, the faucet looked more like a penis and balls than anything else until this rendition, where I hope it's more elephant than penis....

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  10. I hope this was a 6 sentence story and you didn't really lay in a hot tub of water and then zip around the tub and crash! If it's true, your tub is way bigger than mine. :P

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    1. I wish! I really did it, and boy, did it happen FAST! It's a HUGE tub - came with the house and was a major selling point. When my two kids were little, they'd get in there with my husband and they'd turn on the jets and have a grand time (I hate the jets).

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