Completely Disjointed And Random Thoughts

Disjointed thoughts for your reading pleasure:

I have two solid blue cats with a total weight of over 40 pounds. I have one calico who is mostly white with black and orange spots and who weighs about 8 pounds. 95% of the cat hair on my clothes is white. I am no math whiz, but this doesn't add up.

A recent conversation between my son and daughter about hash browns:
Son: They cook the hashbrowns on a grill.
Daughter (looking puzzled): A grill? How do they do that?
Son: Not the kind with the flames. The Spongebob kind.
Daughter: Ohhhhh.

My daughter's friends are starting to get their driver's licenses, and I'm not sure how I feel about this.

I may overdose on candy pumpkins by Halloween.

A recent conversation between me and my daughter, while the family was riding in the car:
Daughter: If you're going to sell your produce on the side of the road, do you HAVE to make your sign look so bad?
Me: Yes, you have to make it look like Jethro Bodine made it.
Daughter: Who's Jethro Bodine?
Me: Sigh....

I ate an entire pint of Ben & Jerry's Chunky Monkey ice cream today, but when my husband asked me what I had eaten today that kept me from being hungry for dinner, I only told him about the peanut butter sandwich I had for lunch.

A pint of ice cream really isn't that much.

I think I look better naked than I do in clothes, but you're just going to have to take my word for it.

I took Fletcher, our 12 year old kitteh, to the vet today. He gets car sick very easily, so it's really a joy to travel with him, whether it be one mile or 100 miles. I decided to put him in Ruby's small, soft-sided carrier, so he (hopefully) wouldn't have room to get sick. Got the carrier from the basement. Set it in a chair and unzipped the opening at the end (think rural mailbox). Rousted the cat from his hiding place in my husband's closet (I never even BREATHED the word "vet," so, obviously, he read it on the calendar), carried him downstairs to stuff him in the carrier before he knew what was happening to him, and found the carrier already occupied by 25 lb. Pete, who refused to budge. Instead, I had to carry him, wrapped in a towel, in my lap to the vet and back. The good news is he didn't get sick, but he sure complained the entire trip.

Pete, foiling Plan A

Mountain Dew Baja Blast tastes like window cleaner.

One of my primary boys needed to use the restroom the other day while we were on the playground, and how I knew this is because he grabbed his bottom and announced, "I have to poop!" The nearest bathroom is a "real" men's room, not like the one we have adjoining our classroom with an itty bitty, child-sized toilet in it. As I hustled him into the bathroom, he paused at the urinal. "Can I poop in there?" he asked. "No, not ever," I answered and sent him into the stall. "Why not?" he asked, and I told him, "It's only for peeing. Ask your dad to show you how."

The previous conversation is vitally important to have with a small boy, because last year, my assistant teacher took a primary boy into that very restroom from the playground and waited politely in the hallway without standing in the doorway (she'll never do THAT again, I can assure you). And THAT little boy managed to hoist himself into the urinal and poop there. I kid you not. (His mother [and my good friend] has been waiting patiently for this story to appear in my blog, so I'm happy I was finally able to work it in.) 

One more preschool story: we had a long conversation in primary class today about the importance of keeping your finger out of your nose. Interesting correlation: the ones who are the most vocal about why you shouldn't put your finger in your nose are usually the ones poking a finger up there.

I lost my school keys today, which is bad (there are three different indoor keys attached to an electronic key card). But while I was looking in my classroom for them, I found a $10 gift card to Sonic that I forgot I had, which is good. And then, at the end of the day, I found my keys in a side pocket of my purse where I keep my sunglasses, which is really, REALLY good, because if I had lost them on the playground the day before, which I had previously thought could have happened, then some homeless person or neighborhood hooligan could have found them, and that would have been very, very bad.

Vice President Biden is coming to Joplin for the official ribbon cutting at the new high school, and I'm pretty darn excited! I wish President Obama could come (he was here a week after the tornado and again at the one year anniversary, at which time he spoke at graduation, and we could not see him either time), but he's a little busy right now with work.

I made clothes for a frog this weekend. Top that.