Always and Forever

I don't like to whine or complain. I don't like to lose sight of silver linings.

But today, I cried and felt sorry for myself.

I was slammed with hot flashes all day.

And my right knee is aching. 

As are the bones in the top of my feet.

And the ones in my hands.

And my left hip.

And I'm one of the lucky ones: no radiation, no infusion chemo.

The appearance of my little jellybean means that there will always be a calculable risk that the cancer will be back, somewhere, somehow.

I will forever be waiting and wondering.