Monday, May 7, 2012
Stop Crowding Me Already
"I have a little shadow that goes in and out with me,
And what can be the use of him is more than I can see."
(Robert Lewis Stevenson, A Child's Garden of Verses
Pollyanna has given me the slip this week. I've cried hot, angry tears, aching inside from the things I cannot change. I thought the surgery and recovery were going to be the worst part of this whole ordeal, but I was wrong. I have fucking, stupid cancer, and it's taken over a part of me, edging something else out of its way. Wonder when I'll figure out what got pushed out of the way to make room for it?
Physically, though, I feel great. There is still pulling and some pain along the tummy tuck incision, but I can stand upright MOST of the time. The nipple surgery never caused any pain, other than the horrifically itchy tape episode. In fact, I have set a goal for myself to return to Zumba at 6 weeks post-tram, which would be this week, and I feel pretty optimistic that I will be able to do it. Maybe not do it WELL, but I'm willing to give it a somewhat feeble try.
One bright note: the period from HELL may have finally ended. 37 days of it. 37 days. THIRRRRRRRTYYYYY-SEEEEEEEEEEEVENNNNNNNNNN!!!!! I deserve a reward.