Tuesday, March 27, 2012

You're Only A Day Awayyyyy....

Pre-surgery day! I've been sleeping like crap, so I got up at 5:00 and went downstairs to mop the kitchen floor. I had the best of intentions. REALLY, I did. But then I saw all the lovely gifts on the dining room table from the Ta Ta party and from my fabulous co-workers at preschool and, well, the kitchen floor still needs to be mopped....

I said goodbye to my son in the driveway, since he drives himself to school. I know he was trying hard to hold it together, so I must say I kind of shoved him in the car and sent him on his way so neither of us lost it. I rode to school with my husband and daughter, because I needed to talk to her track coach about her missing the meet on Friday night. When I walked back to the car to tell my daughter goodbye before she walked into school, I could see her eyes filling with tears. Dear God, how that hurt! Kids shouldn't have to worry about their parents. It's our job to worry about THEM.

Back home, I packed and waited for my parents to come get me. Naturally, I lost my list of stuff I wanted to remember to take with me. I remembered the sheep dip. I forgot my new Sue Grafton book and gum. I think I got everything else. I brought underwear, but I don't know if I even need it. I didn't bring any bras, except the one I'm wearing. I optimistically packed make up.

Dr. Bumberry did my "dye job." I asked him if I would see him in the morning while I was still lucid, and he said maybe. I said what about Dr. Geter? Would I see HIM while I was still lucid? He said I would, because he would come in to draw on me with a Sharpie. 

And that leads to my latest worry. When I met with Dr. Geter, my surgery was more or less elective and we were talking about something that might happen in a few months. In the meantime, the stupid cancer came up and now he's going to be making me new boobies tomorrow without us really talking about what they are going to look like.

I pictured going to his office, looking through some kind of catalog of pictures of boobies that I could pick from. And then I decided that what I REALLY wanted was Jennifer Aniston's boobies. They're small, perky, and haven't been drug down by pregnancy and breastfeeding. I set out to find a good picture of her that I could take to Dr. Geter.

Google Images gave me lots of pictures of Jennifer Aniston, mostly as "Rachel," and none of them really showing what I wanted. So I narrowed my search to "Jennifer Aniston swimsuit," thinking one of these would show enough to give Dr. Geter the idea of what I was looking for.

Funny thing, when you Google "Jennifer Aniston swimsuit," you get more than you bargained for. Am I the only one who didn't know that she is one of the most Photoshopped celebrities? And by "Photoshopped," I mean her head onto very naked bodies? Very naked bodies doing a variety of activities, none of which could have been shown on "Friends"?

Needless to say, I don't have a picture of Jennifer Aniston to show the plastic surgeon.

So many are praying and sending positive thoughts my way. I am humbled. Tomorrow's the day. No backsies.

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