Useful: A Six Sentence Story

"Can you tell the jury what your job description was," the judge asked, turning to the defendant.

In a small voice, the defendant replied, "To be useful."

"And can you state with certainty that you were, indeed, useful?" asked the judge.

A tear escaped and trickled down as the defendant replied, "I was, I was useful as long as I could be, and then, and then, I-I just wasn't needed anymore...."

There was a murmur in the courtroom as the judge brought his gavel down, calling out, "The court finds you useless; case dismissed!"

The slide projector slid off the chair and trudged slowly out of the courtroom, his power cord dragging sadly behind him, and he could only nod, his tear filled eyes lowered, as he passed the telephone booth that lumbered past him and settled with a groan onto the witness stand.

Linking up with Denise at Girlie On The Edge's Blog for Six Sentence Stories with the prompt "useful"

Win A Few, Lose A Few

I've been working for HOURS trying to edit a video I wanted to post, and I've nearly let the weekend get away from me, but HERE I AAAAM!!! Welcome to Ten Things of Thankful!

1. I've been working on losing a little weight since the middle of June, and I'm now able to wear clothes that I have shoved to the back of the closet because they didn't fit. Happy dance!

2. Cheers for unseasonably cool weather this week! We were even able to open our windows a few nights and enjoy the breeze. That's all over now; temps back in the upper 90s with heat index over 100, but it was great while it lasted.

3. If you read my Six Sentence Story this week, you will know that I am thankful for thoughtful friends.

4. And drape flavored propel packets (not falling for naming the flavor again and causing a shortage).

5. I am thankful I'm not tired of oatmeal, since I've eaten it nearly every morning for breakfast for the past two months and expect the trend to continue for another couple of months or until I start to look like the Quaker Oats man.

6. My husband and I celebrated our 27th wedding anniversary on Friday. This is my favorite photo from our wedding day, and it pretty much sums up our life:

7. I found my missing American Express card today, and I can't BEGIN to tell you how grateful I am about that! (Shhh! Don't tell my husband it was missing!) I was pretty sure it wasn't LOST lost, but since the whole Covid debacle, I don't take my purse into a store and just put a card in my pocket to use when I check out, and it's not a bit unusual for me to forget it's in my pocket and have to fish it out of the dirty clothes basket. This time, I found it in a pocket in my purse THAT I HAD PREVIOUSLY CHECKED (and if you feel as though you've heard this story before, only with a checkbook, you might be right). ALL'S WELL THAT ENDS WELL.

8. On that note, I found the plastic fork that I dropped while eating coleslaw in the car in a parking lot in Tulsa on the way to visit my son and his fiance in Oklahoma City. Had to finish my coleslaw with my fingers. I found the fork (coleslaw had disintegrated, thank GOD) when I dropped my debit card between the driver's seat and the console and couldn't reach it without getting out of the car, opening the door to the back seat, and feeling around under the driver's seat for the card, WHICH I FOUND. Bonus: I also found a quarter, a $5 bill, and the sunglasses clips I lost last summer.

9. Here's a fun little story: I was sitting on a milk crate at school (and note that it wasn't a REAL milk crate, which is very sturdy, but a flimsy, FAKE milk crate for storage of very not heavy things) that had a pad that sat on top of it and rested on a little lip that ran around the inside of the crate (see photo, below). I was holding a child on my lap and helping another one put on dress up clothes, and the next thing I knew, my ass was INSIDE the crate. The pad had slipped off that little lip and dumped me. This wouldn't have been so bad IF I weren't (a) wearing a skirt and (b) sitting directly in the line of sight of a male student worker. So he got a horrific free peep show of my underpants when my legs went straight up in the air. He's probably suffering from PTSD from the ordeal, but at least he didn't act like anything happened at the time, and I am grateful for that.

And yes, for those of you keeping track, something similar DID happen to me once before, when I broke a chair a la Goldilocks at the preschool where I used to work. My only witness was my assistant teacher Melissa and I wasn't wearing a skirt, but I am aware of the parallels.

10. And finally, the video that I have spent entirely too long trying to edit. I wanted to blur the little bit of little faces that showed in the video, but I couldn't get it to work. So, no, you're not losing your eyesight; my only option was to blur the whole video, but I had to share this. Our playground has large rhythm instruments in one corner, and my little nugs were making a joyful noise on them and having a wonderful time. I love what I do, and I am thankful I can share this sliver of a day with you:

Find your thankfuls in every day life. They are there, I promise!

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Random: A Six Sentence Story

Earlier this summer, I posted in a Ten Things of Thankful link up that I was thankful for Propel fitness water powder packets, preferably grape, which seems to have caused a rush on grape Propel packets, and I can no longer order them from Amazon or find them in the grocery store. I have been greatly saddened by this, so I have had to temporarily change flavors, and I can't tell you the name of the one I changed to, because obviously, then THAT one wouldn't be available anymore, either; in a subsequent TToT post, I referred to the substitute flavor as peewee flawberry, so as not to alert the media or the black market that I had had a switch.

Fast forward to last week, when I received a text from my dear blogging friend Lydia telling me to be on the lookout for a little surprise that she had just mailed; Monday, it arrived, and I eagerly tore into it to find not one, not two, not three, but FOUR boxes of grape Propel fitness water powder packets, and I squealed with delight! She said it wasn't easy for her to get it, either, and two previous orders she had tried to make were canceled - I wasn't kidding about grape Propel being a hot commodity!

Yesterday when I came home from work, there was a package on the kitchen counter for me, and puzzled, I tore into it to find a sweet card and note from my longtime friend Pam AND A BOX OF GRAPE PROPEL FITNESS WATER POWDER PACKETS; she happened to find some in the grocery store and picked up a box for me - my heart!

How utterly and completely random it was that two friends, on two different coasts and who did not conspire because they don't even know each other, would read that tiny little thankful in my tiny little blog and make my heart soar so (note: I'm also having a terrible time finding $100 bills, so if anyone wants to help a girl out with that...).

Linking up with Denise at Girlie On The Edge's Blog for Six Sentence Stories with the prompt "random"

Oh, Deer! It's Ten Things of Thankful!

I completely missed the Ten Things of Thankful last weekend, and I'm not sure how I did it, but what's done is done.

This week, I had plans to write a Six Sentence Story and to get my TToT written on Friday night, but none of that happened. Instead, I was exhausted by a week of professional development and preparation of my classroom for the start of the new school year (we go year 'round, but we operate on a traditional school calendar, since we are affiliated with a university). My daughter came home for a couple of days, and what little time I had once I got home from work was spent with her.

My husband and I went to the lake house for the weekend, and it was relaxing and laid back, and the weather got delightfully and unseasonably cool Saturday night, so we sat around the fire pit and toasted marshmallows (many, many marshmallows), but it was over as fast as it started.

We were on our two-hour trip back home (I was driving) and listening to a podcast when from out of nowhere, a deer ran out of a field and into the driver's side of the car (in broad daylight, I might add). It happened so fast, I didn't even have time to react other than to burst into tears because I hurt a deer. My husband soothed me, telling me even if the deer had run in front of the car instead of into the side of it, I wouldn't have been able to stop, and since I saw the deer get up from the pavement and run on across the road and into another field, he didn't think it was badly injured.The important thing, he said, was that WE weren't injured, and the car didn't seem to be too worse for the wear (slight dent and the bumper was knocked loose but not enough that it's in danger of falling off). 

We got home to an upstairs air conditioner that isn't working and ants in the kitchen. The ants got into the cats' dry food (make that the cats' VERY EXPENSIVE, PRESCRIPTION dry food), and once again, I wanted to burst into tears. Tomorrow is open house and my classroom is still a wreck. I don't have my letter to my parents ready yet, nor have I completed my potty training protocol, our class schedule, or the getting to know you questionnaire. Perhaps to show his displeasure at having to stay home with the other two cats all weekend instead of going with us to the lake, Lewis bit a hole about midway down a (full) gallon jug of distilled water that my husband uses in his CPAP machine.

I want to feel sorry for myself and eat something bad for me.

Then I remember my friend Sarah, who was in a horrific car accident a month ago and lost her left arm. She lost. her. left. arm. 

Kind of puts things in perspective, doesn't it?

Count your thankfuls. 

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Hunch: A Six Sentence Story

Laurel rolled over sleepily, preparing to snuggle up against Andrew's back and relish the warmth of his body on this chilly, winter night, but her arm reached out to nothing but a cool, empty spot in the bed.

Fully awake now, Laurel laid on her back for a few moments as she listened to the ticking of the clock on the bedside table, and then she slipped out of the bed and into her dressing gown and padded barefoot out the bedroom door.

The house was dark and silent as she made her way down the hall, guided by the sliver of light beneath Andrew's study door. Laurel paused slightly before quietly opening the heavy door to find Andrew hunched over the desk, the glow from the desk lamp illuminating the pistol that laid before him.

The shaking of her hands matched the tremble in her voice as she softly spoke his name. As his cold eyes rose to meet hers, Laurel drew in a sharp breath as she saw the pistol now in his hand, his finger on the trigger, her heart expecting it but her mind not ready for the sound of the single gunshot. 

Linking up with Denise at Girlie On The Edge's Blog for Six Sentence Stories with the prompt "hunch"

Well, No Worms THIS Week And Other Thankfuls

Had a better week this week compared to last week. I am no less worried about the state of things, but I didn't let it get to me as much. That's either growth or denial.

Either way, I am still thankful. Here are my Ten Things of Thankful for the week:

1. My husband loves all those stupid game shows that are shown in the summer, and (so far) I haven't killed him over it. Yet.

2. I struggled with the prompt for this week's Six Sentence Stories, but instead of giving up and moving on, I stuck with it and wrote a darn fine little story. If you haven't read it yet, it's right here. It won't take you but a minute or two, because, you know, six sentences....

3. I didn't hide in the bathroom and cry this week at work. 

4. I was making masks earlier today, and my spool of hot pink thread was getting down to the bare bones. I was practically holding my breath that I would be able to finish the mask before I finished the spool. As you can see, I juuuuust made it.

5. Last weekend, my husband got uncharacteristically efficient when we were packing up to go home from the lake house, and he put our suitcase (that sounds fancier than it is - it's really a large duffel bag) in the car before I had added the clean clothes that were still in the dryer. It was all my stuff, so I decided to leave it at the lake house and use it the next weekend, which would be this one right here. As a result, I didn't bring any clothes with me on Friday. You can probably see this one coming, but the clothes that had been in the dryer were mostly underpants and pajamas and I don't know what else, but none of it was actual clothing of mine. Thanks to Covid 19, there's really nowhere to go anyway, so I have survived wearing the same shirt all weekend.

6. Okay, the reason I survived with only one shirt to wear was because I had no other choice; I went out Saturday morning to pick up a new shirt or two, stopping in Kohl's and Belk, and there was NOTHING in either of them that even tempted me in the least, AND I HAD A 65% OFF COUPON AT BELK. Everything was ugly or some weird fabric or too short or kind of cute but they only had one left and it was an extra small. Saved myself some money beyond a coupon, so that's good.


7. Look at these cute little pillows I found at a thrift store for fitty cents a piece. I washed them in hot water and dried them on high heat, just in case of hidden critters, and my littles at school LOVE them!

8. After a rather bad experience with corn on the cob last weekend (you really don't want a lot of details, but it involved black bugs, very fat worms. damaged corn, and me screaming), my dad brought down some non-buggy, non-wormy corn from the old order Mennonite vegetable stand. Want to know how to make delicious roasting ears? Trim the silks off the top and snip off any flappy leaves, then lay the ears directly on the oven rack at 375 degrees. Bake for about 25-35 minutes. Cut the stemmy end off, peel the husks off, and most of the silks will come with it, and even the stubborn silks slide off fairly easily. Best roasting ears you'll ever eat. I don't even butter and salt mine, they're so good as they are.

My sous chef, Lewis

9. Last week, I mentioned I was thankful that don't touch your face has equaled long fingernails for me, since I haven't been biting on them. This week, those fingernails saved me a trip to the emergency room, because, as I was cutting up a watermelon yesterday, the knife slipped, and I cut my thumbnail clean in half. Had it not been there to save me, I would have surely sliced my thumb wide open. (I also burned a finger on the waffle iron, one on a glue gun, and pinched the holy hell out of my hand snapping the waffle iron back together, but looks like I'm going to pull through....)

10. Tahitian Gardenia Flower & Mango Butter shampoo and Pineapple Curls conditioner. My hair smells like a fruit salad sans fruit flies. 

Find your thankfuls where you can. Some weeks they are big, some we are just grateful for non-wormy corn.

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Zany: A Six Sentence Story

She laughed too loudly and too often, throwing her head back, one hand held lightly against her throat for maximum effect. When "Splish Splash" came on the jukebox, she leapt up from her stool at the end of the bar and acted out the song, her gestures wild as she wiggled and shook her body to the music. The men standing around her cheered her on, further energizing her, and one of the two women sitting at a nearby table with their husbands leaned over to the other and announced loudly, "If you have to try that hard to be zany and fun, there's definitely something wrong with you." 

The dancing woman's eyes darted to the women, and as the song ended, she laughingly excused herself to visit the ladies room. Passing the table with the two couples, she paused, then turned to the women and said, "By the way, there's not a thing wrong with me. Ask your husbands, they'll tell you," and with a wink to the red-faced men, she sashayed out of the room.

Linking up with Denise at Girlie On The Edge's Blog for Six Sentence Stories with the prompt "zany"