Pound: A Six Sentence Story

They sat in the living room, he in his recliner, laptop open, fingers tapping, as she sat in her chair nearby. 

"Were the kids using my laptop recently," he asked, "because they left it open to some rather diverse sites?"

"Oh?" she answered, her eyes dropping as she picked up a book from the table next to her chair, opening and closing it a few times before letting it lie in her lap.

"Yes, they've looked up funny kitten videos and something called a chubby bunny challenge and where you can buy cyanide by the pound. Why would anyone want to buy a pound of cyanide, anyway?" he asked.

"I can't imagine, but you need to drink your tea before it gets cold," she answered, and she picked up her book from her lap, and with a small sigh, opened it once again and prepared to wait.

Linking up with Ivy at Uncharted for Six Sentence Stories with the prompt "pound."

Accidents Happened

Accidents happen, right? RIGHT? So, these accidents happened:

In a fit of cleanliness, I used a pumice stone to clean all the hard water stains out of our toilets (boy, THAT'S fun).  Yes, I wore gloves. The end result was satisfying, and my arms ached the next day from all the effort.

I also used the pumice on the sink in my daughter's bathroom; then, because she complains that hardly any water comes out of the spout, I decided to remove the aerator and clean the mineral deposits out of it (we have very hard water - I live in what was once a mining town). I probably should have done this a long, LONG time ago. Believe me, I wish I had.

That aerator would NOT budge. I tried pliers. Nope. Next, I used locking pliers (sometimes called vice grips) and elbow grease, and finally, I felt it give. The aerator dropped into my hand, along with something TERRIBLY IMPORTANT from inside the faucet, and water began spewing underneath the sink. I turned the water off under the sink, said some VERY BAD words, and started watching YouTube videos on how to install a bathroom fixture. Stay tuned.

This is the aerator. You can see that it
was definitely clogged. It was supposed to
unscrew from the faucet. Supposed to.

See the brass part on the right? That
was NOT supposed to come off.
Not at all. Nope. 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

I was looking through my blog stats and saw that someone found my blog by Googling "zentangle vagina." So of course, I Googled "zentangle vagina," and guess whose blog post comes up as the first entry?

The zentangle vagina I accidentally drew.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Before I tell you this story, keep reminding yourself that I MEANT WELL. 

In June, my daughter had a weekly volleyball tournament in a city an hour's drive away. She kept complaining that the school where they were playing was disgusting, with bugs everywhere, but sitting in the bleachers, I never saw any bugs and thought she was exaggerating.

During the last night of games, I had gone down to the gym floor to give her some ibuprofen for a headache, and as I was climbing a back staircase to the second floor and the bleacher seating, I saw something moving in a corner. It looked kind of worm-like, or, dare I say, SNAKE-like and was wiggling rapidly but not going anywhere.

After a sharp intake of breath, I leaned closer and realized I was seeing a teeny, tiny lizard, its tail caught up in a disgusting wad of hair and dust and God only knows what else. He was barely two inches long, slim bodied with a bright blue tail. Kind of cute, really, as long as you didn't think about him being a snake with legs. A few feet away from him, another teeny, tiny lizard was sitting very still, and upon closer inspection, I saw that he, too, had a (much smaller) hairy dust bunny thing stuck to HIS tail.

I didn't want to touch either the lizard OR the hairy dust bunny, but I felt like freeing the snake with legs was the right thing to do (all the while trying not to let my mind go to why there were lizards in the building in the first place), so I slipped off my flip flop and put the toe of it on the hairy dust bunny, holding it in place so the lizard could pull free and run away. When that didn't work, I tried to shake it free, and, well...

This is how it panned out:

IT WAS AN ACCIDENT, OKAY?! I told the other lizard he was on his own and fled the scene. 

I am a lizard killer, and I'm not proud of it.

A Pictorial Thankful For Our Patriotic Neighborhood Party

I live in a really cool neighborhood. In fact, it was recently included in 417 Magazine's article entitled "Neighborhoods We Love" (my house is the Tudor that is referred to in the first paragraph). The area is officially called Roanoke, unofficially called Northtown, and even MORE unofficially called Snob Hill. According to historicjoplin.org, the area, tucked into the northwest corner of town, was developed into a residential neighborhood in 1907, with tony street names and expensive lots. Each home is different, from cottages to colonials to everything in between. 

On the morning of the 4th of July, my neighborhood gets together for a celebration. It's a tradition that started in 1964 and includes patriotic music, speeches, a flag raising, food, drink, conversation, and holiday attire that (some, thankfully) only comes out once a year. My neighborhood takes its patriotism seriously, and that is my Ten Things of Thankful this week:

The flag raising ceremony.

Emma as the 2006 Miss Liberty.

Left, the speaker's podium. Center, Glenda
playing "God Bless America" on a keyboard,
with the entire crowd singing along.

Some of the crowd. 

Little girls in patriotic attire.

Food.

More food.

The "adult" drink station, across the street.

A couple of the bicycle parade participants.

See what I mean about thankfully
only seeing these pants once a year?

Happy birthday, America! I'm thankful to live here.

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 Your hosts

A Fly on our (Chicken Coop) Wall, Amycake and the Dude, Considerings, Finding Ninee, Getting Literal, I Want Backsies, The Meaning of Me, Thankful Me, Uncharted, The Wakefield Doctrine

Join the Ten Things of Thankful Facebook Group

An InLinkz Link-up

Fall: A Six Sentence Story

He attended college that fall in an area with a rich history of limestone mining, quarries, old and new, dotting the landscape. The abandoned quarries eventually filled with water and became recreational areas for local families and college students, where they swam and scuba dived, and brave (or foolish) ones, usually college boys, would even dive off the high sides into the deep, deep water. He never joined his friends at the quarries, as a childhood accident left him terrified of water, but it never bothered him that he could not, or would not, swim.

College students being what they were, they were drawn to the quarries at night, where under the moon and the stars, they would gather in the parking lots to drink beer to the sounds of Tommy James and the Shondells and the Turtles and Sam & Dave drifting from someone's car radio, and after much begging from friends, he finally joined them there one crisp night, putting off studies in favor of beer and laughter and maybe a chance to sway to the music with a pretty young thing. Eventually, nature called, and he excused himself for a moment and stepped into the darkness to relieve himself, but when he hadn't returned after several minutes, his friends began to call for him, casually at first, then more and more frantically, turning on car headlights and digging flashlights out of glove boxes, his name echoing over the rocky walls of the quarry.

His body was found by divers the next day, floating in the cold water of the quarry, and an autopsy revealed that there was no water in his lungs; he died of fright, his heart stopping before he ever hit the water.

Linking up with Ivy at Uncharted for Six Sentence Stories with the prompt "fall."

Very Pinteresting: Silk-free Corn On The Cob

One of my favorite things about summer (besides that it isn't cold outside) is fresh corn on the cob. I love corn on the cob; in fact, I think I could eat a dozen ears in one sitting.

What I DON'T like about corn on the cob is the silks. No matter how carefully I shuck corn, I never can get all the silks out. Then they get caught in my teeth and it feels miserable and detracts an awful lot from my corn on the cob experience.

While flipping through Pinterest the other day, I found this pin for corn on the cob:

The pinner claims you can cook corn in the microwave and it will fall right out of the husk, leaving the silks behind.

No. Way. Game on.

I bought a dozen ears of corn (for the whole family; I wasn't going to try to eat them all, at least, not this time) and set to work.

The directions said to microwave two cobs at a time for 8 minutes on high, then cut about an inch off of the end opposite the silks. Using a hot pad or towel, hold the cob and squeeze a little as you pull out the cob. Out it will pop with no silks.

Color me skeptical.

I cut the tip end of the silks off the ears, removed any blatantly loose outer leaves,and put the ears, two at a time, into the microwave.

After 8 minutes, I removed the ears and chopped off the end of each one.

Then I squeezed a little.

And delivered a bouncing ear of silk-free corn.

LOOK AT THAT EAR OF CORN! NO SILKS TO GET CAUGHT IN YOUR TEETH!

When they were all done, I gave them a little shot of cooking spray, and my husband put them on the grill just long enough to brown them a bit. 

They were scrumptious!

A few notes: 

It was time consuming to do only two ears at a time, so I tried doing four at once. The problem I found was that the last two of that batch didn't pop out as easily, maybe because they had cooled down? I did check another site where that pinner said she microwaved eights ears at a time. Either she was quicker at delivering ears of corn than I was or she had help with the shucking.  I wasn't as concerned about the ears cooling off, since I was putting them on the grill, but it would certainly be much more efficient to do more than two ears at a time. Be prepared to work quickly or enlist help. 

Freshly microwaved ears of corn are hot, hot, HOT. Make sure you use hot pads or towels to hold onto them.

PINTEREST WIN!

Be Okay, Be Thankful

Earlier this week, I didn't believe by the weekend I could sit here and write a post about being thankful. 

As hard as I try, sometimes, that silver lining is hard to find, and the glass looks a little more half empty than half full. Sometimes, Pollyanna is hiding in a corner, crying, sure nothing is going to be right again. And that, my friends, is exactly why the Ten Things of Thankful is a necessary part of my weekend. 

Here's what (and whom) I'm thankful for this week:

Many emails have gone back and forth between me and Lisa from The Meaning of Me. We had a very, VERY meaningful conversation about...kitty litter. Valuable information was exchanged. You WILL be updated.

I received a picture that made me laugh out loud at a time when I REALLY needed a good laugh. Ivy from Uncharted, you made my day!

I had a missed call from Christine at In The Coop on my phone the other evening. Pretty sure I had been butt dialed (things like that happen, don't they, Lisa?), but I called her back and found she really DID mean to call me! I got to be the first to hear about the newest member of "The Coop." 

My brother sent me a little gem from Mandolin Kamp (kid you not) to add to my collection. 

This week was oncology appointment week. Everything is going just fine on the oncology front, which is a thankful in its own right, but while there, I got to see my favorite nurse, Sue Ann. I met her at one of my very first appointments three years ago. She was diagnosed with breast cancer about a year before me, had the very same reconstruction surgery by the very same plastic surgeon, then had chemo and radiation, all while STILL WORKING. She's pretty amazing, and while we have become Facebook friends, we rarely see each other in person, as our schedules never seem to collide. This week, it collided so hard that she was the one who gave me my injection. We talked and laughed and hugged. Nothing like a comrade in arms!

I know there are many people out there who won't agree with me, and may we respectfully agree to disagree, but I am thankful for the Supreme Court decision that makes gay marriage legal in all 50 states. 

And let's not forget the Affordable Care Act was also upheld once again by the Supreme Court.

Friday afternoon, Facebook profile pictures began popping up with a rainbow filter over them. My daughter and I wanted one, too, so I asked Jen from Driftwood Gardens how in the heck did she do it, and she got back to me immediately with the low down (turns out it was ridiculously easy).

This is my jam. 

Join us in the Ten Things of Thankful by linking up YOUR thankfuls below. If I can do it, you can.

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 Your hosts

A Fly on our (Chicken Coop) Wall, Amycake and the Dude, Considerings, Finding Ninee, Getting Literal, I Want Backsies, The Meaning of Me, Thankful Me, Uncharted, The Wakefield Doctrine

Join the Ten Things of Thankful Facebook Group

An InLinkz Link-up

Park: A Six Sentence Story

When our son was a toddler, we lived in a pleasant neighborhood, built into the California hills west of Los Angeles. There was a small park within walking distance of our home, and we went there frequently. Above our neighborhood, there was another park, with playing fields and playground equipment and a paved walking trail that wandered along the hillside.

We went to this other park once. Once.

After being greeted by this sign, we never went back:

Linking up with Ivy at Uncharted for Six Sentence Stories with the prompt "park."