Saturday, July 12, 2014

We Interrupt Packing For Ten Things Of Thankful

I'm in the midst of finishing up laundry and trying to persuade everyone to pack their suitcases TONIGHT for our vacay to the beach, because we are leaving at 6 A.M. PEOPLE, and there will be no time for it in the morning.

No one has packed a thing.

I, on the other hand, have done about a thousand loads of laundry, bought groceries for the trip, taken the cats to Camp Grandma an hour away, cleaned the downstairs in case something happens to us and my mother in law has to come inside my house while we're gone (and hoping there is no reason for her to go upstairs to the Inner Sanctum, as it is a disaster). I am now taking a breather, lying on the living room couch, having a hot flash that seems to be endless, and missing my Ruby.

1. I guess I'll start my Ten Things of Thankful with that: I'm thankful my downstairs is clean enough for a mother in law.

2. One of Ruby's favorite games is to run up the stairs ahead of me, stop on the landing 3/4 of the way up, and try to grab me from around the newel post. I was trying to capture this fun game on my camera, and I got a picture that I just adore.


Oh, Ruby....


3. My son has decided he is not going to die from his tick bite, so I was able to throw away the tick in my freezer. Hamsters remain status quo.

4. Picked a few more blueberries this week. The season will be over by the time we get back from vacation, so this was my last chance to pick them for the freezer. Once again, I talked my son into going with me, making the deal that whoever picked the least amount would buy the other person breakfast. Guess who got a free breakfast? That's right, MEEEEE! When we finished picking (and he set the time we would finish), I clearly had the most, which was confirmed when our berries were weighed when we checked out. "I don't get it," my son said, shaking his head. "You eat berries constantly as you pick, you take selfies, you text, you answer emails, you check facebook, and I just stand there and pick blueberries. And yet, you pick more than me every time." That's right, College Boy, because I'm a mom and I can multi-task. That's my superpower. 

5. I'm extremely thankful for my parents. We drive two old cars, which is not the way you should do it. You should have one newish car and one oldish car, so you always have a decent one. One has definitely been better than the other for some time, but it recently got bumped to second place by the one we think of as the bad car. Then the bad car, which had been upgraded to the good car, started acting up (as in dying while driving it, which is not a good thing at all) and got demoted again to bad car. So now, instead of one good car and one bad car, we have two bad cars. My parents stepped in and told us we could borrow one of their cars for the trip, so we now know we not only can make it to our destination, we can also return, which would have been an iffy proposition with either of our own cars.

6. Another thankful for my parents is they have opened Camp Grandma for the week so our cats have a place to stay while we're gone. The College Boy and I dropped them off there today. Fletcher and Ruby were hiding under the couch when we left, but Pete had flopped down in a chair and made himself at home. 


Unhappy campers.




Pete, making himself at home.

7. I received a gift certificate for a pedicure recently. Some of you might recall that pedicures were on my list of things I've never done, because the whole idea of it kind of weirded me out, but I decided to take a deep breath and go for it. I took my daughter with me, and we bumbled through the whole thing together. I will say that I did not know there was such a learning curve to getting a pedicure, and that I am really, really, REALLY bad at understanding anyone who speaks with an accent of any kind, particularly Vietnamese, as it turns out. I can't say I loved the pedicure, especially the part where she trimmed my nails, which, to me, was the equivalent of the dental hygienist scraping my teeth with that evil hook-thing. Nor did I care much for the scalding hot towels she wrapped around my legs. But all the massage stuff was nice. And my piggy toes look beach worthy!




8. I took both of my kids to lunch ("Welcome to Moe's!"), and my son called driver and my daughter called shotgun, and I was left to sit in the backseat. I took full advantage of my position by backseat driving the entire way FROM THE ACTUAL BACKSEAT.


Pilot and co-pilot

Backseat driiiiiving.


9. This one is hot off the press, but I had to relay this thing of thankful. My husband has gotten himself hooked on a British reality show called "Come Dine With Us" or something like that, and he had a couple of questions for Lizzi. I sent them to her via Facebook, and I just got the most delightful message back from her, done as a voice message, with her drunk as a runaway bicycle and having what sounded like a fabulous time with friends. It makes me smile ear to ear to hear that message (and all the subsequent ones)!

10. As we get ready to embark on a family vacation, I want to express how thankful I am for my little family. After almost 21 years of marriage, my husband and I still enjoy being with each other and with our funny, smart kids. We've been through some pretty crappy stuff since the very end of December, but I can now say that it's finally OVER. And we deserve to have a fantastic beach vacation. And if we don't kill each other before the week is over, I'll be back next weekend to tell you all about it.

Ten Things 

of Thankful


 Your hosts

Join the Ten Things of Thankful Facebook Group

Tuesday, July 8, 2014

Freezers: Not Just For Ice Cubes

A month ago, I was taking a stab at straightening out the contents of my freezer when I came across what I thought was an empty quart-sized freezer bag tucked in the freezer door. Just as I was throwing it away, I saw something in the bottom of the bag.

A tick. A frozen tick.

I went to the most likely culprit for stashing a tick in my freezer and asked why it was there (note I did not bother to ask if he were the one who put it there).



"Because I got bitten by it, so I saved it in case I get some horrible disease," said the College Boy, holding out his arm and showing me a small red place on his forearm.

He is still alive.

And there is still a frozen tick in my freezer.

I am unmoved by this, because I have two dead hamsters in a toilet paper tube in the basement freezer.

I cannot be exactly sure about how long they have been in there. I know it was before August of 2010, because that's when we got the two guinea pigs, and we were rodent-free when we got those. 

Hamster #1 is buried at my parents' lake house (next to two of my cats - hey, the ground is sandy and diggable). Hamster #2 dropped dead two days after his pet store warranty expired. He got wrapped in a kleenex and tucked in a toilet paper tube and put in the freezer (in a quart-sized freezer bag) for interment at a future date. Hamster #3, who only had three legs and one ear, as an aside, joined Hamster #2 about a year later. At that time, we decided we were not hamster people.



(We are no longer guinea pig people, either, since I was the only one who played with them after the initial cuteness wore off and was the only one who took care of their other basic needs in any way. Do you have any idea how much a guinea pig can poop? I swear they are the only animal that can manage to poop more than they eat. They went to live with a nice family with two kids. Really. This isn't one of those "we sent Shep to live in the country where he can run freely" scams.)

You may, at this time, be relieved to know the only other thing I have ever had in my freezer that needed to be buried was my daughter's volleyball knee pads. Did you know that knees sweat? And that volleyball knee pads absorb all that sweat and then stink to high Heaven, and no manner of washing or using baking soda concoctions will get rid of it? Trust me when I tell you it is a stank you don't want to experience. My husband got the bright idea to seal her knee pads in a freezer bag (gallon-sized this time) and freeze them for a few days, thinking this would kill whatever bacteria was causing the God-awful aroma. 

Stinks even to her, and she licks
her own butt.


She now has new knee pads.

Interment of the hamsters and tick is still pending.


Friday, July 4, 2014

Thankful for the Land that I Love and Other Stuff

Happy 238th Birthday, America! Our neighborhood puts on a wonderful patriotic 4th of July party every year, complete with flag raising, speakers, patriotic music (including a sing-along of "God Bless America"), and lots of food. Usually, it's hotter than blue blazes, but some freakish weather system brought us a delightful morning of low humidity and cooler temperatures than usual.


The flag bearer and Miss Liberty (aka my daughter)
2006


The flag bearer (second from left) and Miss Liberty
2014



We're a festive crowd.


1. I'm thankful to be an American, corny as it sounds. Our country has its problems (and whose doesn't?), but it's a pretty awesome place to live.

2. This week began with a snake in my house. I am not thankful for that. I AM thankful that there was only one and it was very small and very dead. If you didn't read about this yet, you need to fix that.



3. The other evening, everyone in the family (plus Ruby and Fletcher) was in my room, and there was no room for ME, so I took my laptop down to the living room and laid down on the couch and enjoyed the solitude. Is it bad to be thankful to be left alone in my own house for an hour or two?

4. It's no secret at our house that Pete, our 9 year old cat, hates Ruby with every fiber of his being, and he shuns me for bringing her into this life. A large reason for his shunning of me is because Ruby follows me everywhere I go. But the evening I went down to the living room by myself, she was in my room, sleeping in a chair and, due to the other commotion of kids and husband and cats and tv, she didn't realize I left the room. Pete was sleeping in a chair in the living room, and when he realized I was on the couch and Ruby was nowhere to be found, he came over, jumped up on my stomach (oof!) and laid there with me for about twenty minutes. Then Ruby realized I was missing and came down the stairs, and Pete flounced off with a hiss in her direction (and probably mine). Oh well, it was nice while it lasted....




5. Thursday, my daughter and I decided to enjoy a little girl time by going to a movie together. Despite my husband and son insisting it was going to be a stupid waste of money, she and I went to see "Tammy." (I think it's only fair to ask that I be nominated for Mom of the Year for taking my 15 year old to a raunchy, R-rated movie.) Is the movie going to win an Academy Award? Not a chance. Did we laugh all the way through it? Sure did! 

6. Not only did we enjoy seeing the movie, we (and I would like Mrs. Always Random to take note of this) didn't pay a dime for any of it, because I had a gift card that I forgot I had. Cha-ching!

7. Pretty much ever since we have lived back in Missouri, we have spent July 3 with my husband's sister and her family. We spend the day at the pool, eating, talking, and swimming, and the evening at my in-laws' house, eating dinner together, then setting off fireworks. We've gone from little ones who were excited to watch smoke bombs and sparklers to teenagers who can drive themselves to the fireworks stand (CAN, but don't, because they still want their grandad to come along and finance the operation) and set off all the fireworks themselves. My sister in law's family lives in Tulsa, which is only 2 hours away, but with the busy lives we all lead, we don't get to spend much time together. Our 3rd of July tradition is pretty sacred to us.

8. Spray sunscreen fail at our family outing, and I now have a sunburned strip on my right boob. I tried to take a tasteful picture of it, but that was pretty much a fail, too. The thankful here is that, thanks to my reconstruction-induced numb boobies, I can't feel a thing. First pain-free sunburn of my life!

9. My dad shot off a flare gun just after we watched a huge fireworks display put on just across the lake from my parents' house, and he didn't hit the boat that was sitting in the middle of the lake. If the police don't come knocking on the door and arrest him, then this will be TWO things of thankful.

10. Last weekend, my friend Zoe at Rewritten wrote about her chickens, many of whom have names. I told her my great aunt Daisy had a pet chicken (back in the early 1900s). Due to an unfortunate raccoon incident, Zoe found herself down four chickens (that means the raccoon ate them). A friend offered her four chicks to replace the ones who became popcorn chicken, and (THIS IS SO FREAKING COOL) she named one of them Daisy Dillon! Let me tell you, my great aunt would have been tickled pink to have a chicken named after her, as I am now. Well, part of the pink is my sunburned boobie, but believe me, I'M TICKLED!


Meet Daisy Dillon. Hopefully,
she won't become a snack wrap
for the raccoons.

Daisy Jefferson with her pet chicken
ca. 1912


In closing, may I say that if the police show up at my parents' door to arrest my dad for shooting that flare that landed less than 10 feet away from a boat, probably causing the occupants of said boat to crap their pants, I WAS RIGHT HERE THE WHOLE TIME, TYPING THIS POST, AND I KNOW NOTHING.

Ten Things 

of Thankful


 Your hosts

Join the Ten Things of Thankful Facebook Group

Tuesday, July 1, 2014

It Started With A Twist Tie

I have this simple (but slightly tedious) recipe for breadsticks that are made with hot dog buns. Sounds dreadful, I know, but they are delicious.


Easy Peasy Breadsticks

1 package of hot dog buns (day old, preferably)

2 sticks of butter or margarine
1 tsp. garlic powder

Preheat oven to 225°.

Melt butter or margarine in a pie plate or other shallow dish. Stir in garlic powder.

Cut each hot dog bun lengthwise and separate sections, giving you 4 sticks per bun. Quickly dip the cut sides in the butter, then lay on a large cookie sheet.

Bake for 1-2 hours. Breadsticks should be golden brown and dry to the touch when done. Very dry buns will only take an hour; fresh buns will take two hours. Makes 32 breadsticks.

Note: you will need two cookie sheets for this recipe. Get creative with it; I usually add dried parsley or dried Italian seasoning to the butter. They can also be sprinkled with sesame seeds or grated parmesan cheese before baking.

Not MY breadsticks, but close.
I didn't know at the time that
a picture might be useful.
So, last week, my husband volunteered me to make about 200 of these breadsticks for a work function. He bought the ingredients for me, except instead of going to the day-old bakery outlet for the buns (which is what I do when I make them and which I TOLD him to do), he bought fresh buns. Since he needed me to make them the next day, he opened all of the packages on the dining room table, leaving the bags open to dry out a little (they didn't), the twist ties scattered over the table.

I worked all day the next day making the breadsticks, and I do mean all damn day. I started at 8 a.m. and I didn't get finished until 4 p.m. My husband picked them up and took them to his function, everyone raved about them, and he brought home a few leftovers. End of story. Not really.


Although I cleaned up the kitchen after the breadstick factory closed, I never went back in the dining room and picked up all the twist ties from the hot dog bun packages from where they lay on the table. Two days later, I found Ruby playing with something on the floor, having a grand time. Upon closer examination, I saw that she had a twist tie. I looked at the dining room table, and, funny thing, there were no longer any twist ties there. Hmmm. So much for "Get off the table, Ruby!" 

Ruby had twist ties stashed all over the downstairs. She'd get bored, fish one out from under a piece of furniture, and play and play and play, often picking up a twist tie in her mouth and carrying it to another location. She was particularly fond of playing with one in and around an obstacle, such as around the legs of one of the kitchen stools or under the dining room chairs.
Transporting a twist tie in her mouth.


Playing on a kitchen stool.


Twist tie dropped in the food bowl.

Monday morning, when I walked into the kitchen, I found a twist tie in the water dish. And one on a kitchen stool. And one under the dining room table. The time would come when I would get tired of stepping on them (or fishing them out of the water bowl), and into the trash they would go. But until then, she was having such a stinking good time with them that I didn't have the heart to throw them away.

A few hours later, my daughter and I were hanging out in the kitchen, she sitting on a kitchen stool, me leaning against the sink. Ruby had been playing with a twist tie in the kitchen with us (where I had already pulled it out of the food bowl once). I hadn't even noticed she left the room until she came trotting back in the kitchen, twist tie hanging out of her mouth. She dropped it under the stool where my daughter sat and proceeded to have a rolicking good time with it, flipping it around between the legs of the stool. 

It was really floppy, that wire twist tie.

I looked closer.

"Is that...? Is that...?" I stammered.

"WHAAAAAAT?!" my daughter cried, looking panicky.

"SNAAAAAAAAKE!!!" I shrieked. My daughter screamed and drew up her legs onto the stool.

Ruby continued to roll around on the floor with her super fun toy.

"GO GET YOUR BROTHER!" I shouted. I watched Ruby and the snake in horror as my daughter leaped over both of them and ran up the stairs, returning with the bleary eyed, half-asleep College Boy.

While my daughter watched from the dining room, and I watched from the sink, where I was apparently frozen in place, my son bent over and looked at Ruby's prize.


Twist tie?

GAHHHHHH!
Not a twist tie!

"Mom, it's dead. And it's been decapitated. And it looks like it's been dead for a long time. Ruby didn't kill it just now and bring it to you."

He got a paper towel, picked it up, and threw it in the trash can, leaving the room while muttering about being woken up for nothing.

My daughter and I continued to shudder and keen.

Ruby searched for the best toy she'd EVER HAD.

So where did the snake come from? Good question, but my money is on the basement (which is just a basement, a 90 year old basement, and nice enough but not a finished room or anything).  

"Ruby, show Mommy where you found the snake," I cooed, but just like a toddler who has hidden the tv remote, she only looked at me coyly and refused to offer up any secret hiding places.

Is it an overreaction in any way that I want to move to a new house? 

No, no, it is not.





Friday, June 27, 2014

Thankful for Birthdays and Blueberries and Blog Guest Posts

Why, why, WHY does summer vacation go by so QUICKLY? June is almost over? NooooOOOO! I'm not at all thankful for that!

I shouldn't complain; folks who work REAL jobs don't get summer vacation, as my husband likes to point out. That is now my number 1.

Moving on.

2. My son turned 19 last weekend. He's still a man-boy, but starting to lean more towards man. Sometimes. Except when he's dancing with Ruby. Or messing with his sister. Or leaving a trail of clothes all over the house.




3. My daughter's school volleyball team (same characters as her travel volleyball team) has been playing in a league for the past four Monday nights in a town an hour away. We have gone to each of the games with several of the girls in our car. They really are a great group of girls and so much fun to watch play. And listen as they talk and giggle in the backseat. This week, the last night of the league, my daughter got to play all the way around instead of her customary position on the back row, and she totally rocked it.




4. I made reservations for a little trip to the beach. This is a BIG DEAL for those of us in the middle of the country, far away from a coast of any kind. In a few weeks, we shall head off to Galveston, Texas, which is the closest beach to us and a ten hour drive. In the meantime, we have to figure out which of our cars is most likely to make it there (and back) in one piece and decide what to do with the kitties while we're gone, but it'll all work out, because WE'RE GOING TO THE BEACH!


5. I had to have an ultrasound of my ovaries this week. Nothing wrong, just a precaution by my ob/gyn since I already have that pesky breast cancer issue. I won't go into the details here, other than to say my ovaries were quite healthy, because I want you to read about the whole story right here. I'll wait.


6. Did you read it? Don't cheat, READ IT. Because it leads me to a big ol' thing of thankful: I was asked to guest post at the Wakefield Doctrine. As Joy Christi noted, I may have brought Clark's series of guest posting to a crashing halt, but I do so appreciate that he asked me. It made me feel like one of the cool kids! Thank you, Clark!

7. The blueberries are ripe! The blueberries are ripe! There is a wonderful blueberry farm about 30 miles south of here. We have picked blueberries there for about 13 years, starting when my daughter was a toddler and strapped in a stroller. I would drop blueberries on the tray and she would stuff them in her mouth while my son and I picked. 




8. My son agreed to pick with me this year. It was a beautiful morning, not too hot, with a breeze. I enjoyed listening to other pickers chatting with each other (one was going to make blueberry pancakes, one had just returned from visiting her daughter in Utah, two discussed the best way to freeze the berries). It was a delightful morning, and we came home with six pounds of blueberries, or as I call it, a good start.




9. The blueberry farm does not weigh you before and after you pick to determine how many berries you consumed while picking, which is a good thing, because I am of the pick-two-eat-one school of blueberry picking. They actually encourage you to eat berries, so you know just how flavorful and sweet they are, and they use no sprays or toxins on them, so they are safe to eat on the spot.




10. I tried a new recipe for supper tonight, and the College Boy, Mr. Picky, ATE IT AND LIKED IT! Thank you to Lisa at The Meaning of Me for pinning it (and many others that I haven't gotten to yet) for the Black Bean and Quinoa Enchilada Bake recipe! It was a hit!

You've got plenty to be thankful for and you know it. Write your post. Link it below.

Ten Things 

of Thankful


 Your hosts

Join the Ten Things of Thankful Facebook Group

Thursday, June 26, 2014

Guest Posting For The First (and probably last) Time at The Wakefield Doctrine!

I sound like one of the cool kids who always get asked to guest post on different blogs now that I finally get to say:

Today, you'll find me over at the Wakefield Doctrine, talking
about stuff you wouldn't ordinarily EVER read there.

Honestly, I think I am a psychological experiment to Clark; go check it out and see for yourself. And while you're there, read all about the Wakefield Doctrine and see if you can figure out your personality type.

Click here. Go there. Read and comment. 

Go!
Teeny tiny picture from the Wakefield Doctrine.
Because I hafta have a picture.









Wednesday, June 25, 2014

Wordless Wednesday 6.25


Sealed for freshness.*



*JUST KIDDING. We did not seal her into a plastic bag. Ruby is actually
playing underneath a Magic Bag on the living room floor.